On Racism and Discrmination

I recently heard someone spout racist remarks about people of another ethnicity. Their ire was neither directed at me nor blacks nor gays nor any other group to which I consider myself and yet still it bothered me. There are characteristics that I hold in very, very high esteem and among these are how do we treat our fellow human, do we respect others, and are we nice and caring. To me racism and discrimination directly indicates the exact opposite to an entire group of people based solely on the circumstances of their birth.

Truth be told, there are two kinds of racism out there. There's the overt racism in which the person understands that they have a preference for some over others. Then there's the more insidious racism of those that tell ourselves that we are not racists, but our actions still hurt or disadvantage others along arbitrary lines.

So how is it that some of are so sure that this insidious form of racism is so wide-spread whereas others are equally sure that it is not? How can these points of view be so far apart? The answer is hard to accept and lies deep within the nature of our species. We humans naturally define concentric circles of "us versus them" in which we almost always favor the inner circle when compared to an outer circle. We tend to lookout for our own interest before another; our own family before strangers; and our village before the world.

This very natural act that has been fruitful in binding communities together for millenia is also the root of racism and other forms discrimination. It defines "us" and skews our mind's perception of what is good so to benefit the "us". It is why we'll fight for our friends, family, village, tribe or country even if something deep inside of us knows that we are in the wrong. Want and example of this? Think of any movie in which the main character is obviously in the wrong and yet by the director showing us the movie from this character's perspective we are drawn into sympathizing and even routing for him to win. The director has succeeded in making the bad guy one of "us". It is part of our survival and self-preservation instinct.

What does this mean? That we're all racists to some extent. Understanding and accepting this is critical to overcoming the problems of racism and discrimination. It is only when we understand our natural tendencies to choose others like us over those that are different that we can free ourselves from its ill-effects.

So the next question is "why"? Why should we even fight these natural tendencies if they have served us so well throughout time? The answer is because our world has changed. No longer do we live in villages where everyone looks like us and acts like us. No longer are the actions of one village divorced from ramifications on the other side of the planet. Today, our village is multi-racial, multi-ethnic and diverse and therefore even this low-grade, insidious racism destroys the fabric of our community.

White Americans Are Losing Their Country

Black Americans have shed blood in every American war since the Revolution. This country, even the very Capitol building in which today's legislators now demand to see the birth certificate of the first black president, was built on the sweat and sinew of slaves. Before we were people in the eyes of the law, before we had the right to vote, before we had a black president, we were here, helping make this country as it is today. We are as American as it gets. And frankly, the time of people who think otherwise is passing. If that's the country Buchanan wants to hold onto, well, he's right, he is losing it.

I came across this blog entry today and just had to post a piece of it. Specifically it is meant to confront the Pat Buchanan's statement that white people are losing their country. However, it reaches me at a much deeper level. To me, it does not stoke defiance and rage but rather truth, pride and a certain strength that this truth displays about where we come from, where we are and where we are heading. Amen.

Read a Book

This is one of the most negatively produced positive videos I've seen. I have no idea what to make of it.

Warning, the video has a lot of racially objectionable language.



The creators of the video defend their work here. Really not sure what I think. On thing that bothers me is the use of the word 'Nigger' (no, I won't say N-word) when it's done by either whites or blacks. It is a term whose only purpose was to denigrate. Even when used between blacks today, I think it retains a little of the "separateness" that the original term implied... and we all no that separate but equal is not equal.

Curiosity, tell me what you think of the word 'nigger' when used between black people?

Super Nekkid Saturday Redux

First a warning... although I try to be honest in this blog, I don't usually give sexual details. I know, that's a little boring isn't it? Anyway, we'll see how far I'll go with this post, but you've been warned!

Yesterday was basically Super Nekkid Saturday Redux. First we went to the bi-monthly naked cocktail party. I brought my first new recruit, which was someone that know from the Green Lantern underwear party. Since the weather was perfect, I expected a small turnout. Indeed there were less people in attendance than normal, but still a very sizable crowd of about 100. I had a blast talking with people I knew and meeting others. One interesting conclusion that I've come to about nudity... People will sometimes look at an unattractive person and say that they'd hate to see him naked. Well, the longer I am involved with nudism, the more I think that people generally look better naked than clothed. Most interestingly, this seems applies to apply especially to the less attractive.

Anyway, for the second part of the day, we were supposed to attend a Cinco de Mayo party at the same location as was the previous Everybody Gets Lucky party. You have to drive to get there and somehow I winded up taking 2 others plus the BF with another friend following us in his own car. As a reminder, this is the large private residence that has a basement setup that would put most commercial bars and clubs to shame. They have a complete and large bar, pool table, air hockey table, slot machine, arcade games, karaoke lounge, snack bar, vending machines, heated pool, hot tub, commercial-grade barbecue pit and a backroom complete with slings and glory holes.

We arrived toward the end of the social period. When I first entered and said hi to some friends, I noticed a very muscled and good looking black guy standing close by. As the evening progressed, I talked with many others, had a couple of hot dogs and lounged around the pool. After finally convincing someone to take a dip in the pool with me, we played in the pool for a while and later retreated to the even warmer hot tub. Of course as the evening progressed, so did the sexual energy, so the hot tub soon became both ridiculously crowded and "busy", though had no complaints.

Well, I met many people and played with several others. But as the evening wore on, I had to say hi to the black guy that I saw when I first entered. He was so glad that I did and said that he really wanted to talk to me but was a little apprehensive to do so. There's a strange thing about gay, black guys in mostly white settings that always make us slightly afraid to approach each for fear of being rejected by someone with a big attitude.

Well we started to talk, flirt and touch. I'll try to describe him. He was big in almost every sense of the word. He was taller than I, perhaps about 6' or 6'1". He had huge muscles. He had nice juicy lips and was an excellent kisser. Oh yeah... did I mention the size of his cock? I often get treated like my dick has superhuman proportions, but believe me, he had me beat. Now, I love men of all races, but am not particularly big on muscle men and rarely consider cock size very important. Nonetheless, he pushed all the right buttons for me. I remember that he said, "you know they're going to kick us out don't you? They didn't invite us (meaning the two black guys with the big dicks) to just pair up with each other."

Well, before the night was done, we went outside to the staircase behind the barbecue pit where it was surprisingly empty. He fucked me on the stairs using just a rubber and spit for lube. That was definitely the largest dick that I've ever taken and it felt perfect. We fucked for quite a while with several breaks in between. He fucked me 'til I came and then we spent several minutes cuddling in each other's arms. Very nice. I can still feel him inside me this morning as I write this.

Other memories... I remember spending a lot of time with a tall, slim and very sexy Asian guy that I know and kinda consider jokingly as my second boyfriend. He sucked me very well for a long time along with another guy. I remember meeting another Asian guy that I had seen several times before (but never nude). This guy is certainly not handsome in the traditional sense or even pretty as Asians often can be. However, he exuded sexiness about as much as anyone possibly could. He has ridiculously big lips (hmm) and an impossibly big and perfect bubble butt. I really enjoyed playing with him. Before the evening was done, I fucked my BF in the sling as well as lying down on the weight bench with him on top.

All in all, I have to say that it was a good night.

Black, Gay and Nude!

A friend I met through an online, nudist website referred me to a gay, nudist group for people of color that he was a member of. Apparently, this group has members that span the north-eastern coast from New York to Washington, DC and perhaps beyond. Their primary activities seem to be movie nights at member's houses and periodic trips to Gunnison Beach in Sandy Hook, NJ.

I haven't yet had the chance to participate in any activities with them, but am looking forward to it. It's funny, but growing up in an all-black neighborhood, I was always told that only white people did "that" foolish stuff, where "that" could refer anything slightly out of the norm or considered different. Certainly both being gay and a nudist would both have qualified in my neighborhood. Of course this is totally ridiculous, but I still feel a certain bond with black guys who are not afraid to break stereotypes and just be themselves no matter how different that may be. That's one of the reasons that I'm really looking forward to meeting the guys in the group and spending time getting to know them. BTW, the group is for people of color. This also includes Latinos, so my BF will be joining me at their events.

Another point of interest that inspired this post is that this group is yet another example of the (not so) secret sub-culture that lies beneath the typical, commercial gay venues. Since I could find any mention of the group using web searches, I must assume that they wish to remain private and therefore have purposely omitted the group's name.

5/2 UPDATE: The group has just scheduled it's next nude movie night for next week. It happens to be at the friend's house that first told me about the group. He has a nice outdoor hot tub that seats 5 comfortably, but I'm sure it's even better when a few more squeeze in.

Race and Sexual Attraction

My BF and I went to Omega last night. I met an extremely good-looking white guy there who was visiting from Ft. Lauderdale. I quickly revealed that I had a BF. What made this conversation so interesting was the racial nature of the conversation. Note that I don't mean racial/bad, but rather am making a statement that we talked a lot about race in ways that are not very common for me.

As I said, he is white with blond hair and blue eyes and very cute. Honestly, if I was single, I definitely would've been interested and told him so. He quickly revealed that he loves black men. He also enjoyed Hispanics and Asians, or according to him race other than white. He used his finger to demonstrate the effect of the thought of sex with white men had on his dick. He confessed that he sometimes fantasizes what it would be like to black and having sex with a black guy.

Now, I'm not at all put off by such comments. Mostly because I think what sexually attracts us typically comes from weird and eccentric sources that would shock us all. Is it any more acceptable for someone to develop an attraction for jock-types or book-worms or even dirty feet. Than why would race-based attraction be inherently bad? Sure it could be born out of racial prejudice, but is not necessarily so. Therefore, I don't use attraction as a measure of one's prejudism since if they are prejudice, they'll likely show it in other ways rather than through attraction which is way too confusing as it is.

Anyway, back to the topic... He told me that he grew up in Indiana in an all white Chicago suburb. I was sure that like most people, he'd have no idea where his attraction to non-white originated, but he had some guesses and I was more than eager to hear them. What can I say, I'm a curious person. His first stated supposition was that his first relationship with a white guy ended very badly. Although possible, I found this improbable.

Later he offered another explanation. He went on to say how some white guys tend to feel a sense of superiority, privilege and birthright above others due to their race. He said that living in a culture that suggests that minorities are lesser prevents this from happening to minorities.

As shocking a statement as some may find this, I actually understood it completely. Not because I think it right, because I don't. Even if this is true of some whites, it would be prejudicial to assume it is likely to be true of any particular white person. Neither did I understand it because I share these feelings. However, I have sensed this same sentiment in others, although typically it is a cause for members of one minority race to only want to date within their own race since it gives that person a feeling of equal footing. I'm not saying that this is the motivation why all or even a majority of minorities only date within their race (see comments above about the inherent complexities of attraction).

What really shocked me about this comment is that (a) it is rarely expressed so directly and (b) I would never had expected it to be voiced by a white person who grew up in a predominately white community. Of course I am neither white nor grew up in a predominately white community myself, so perhaps I am not an expert in this area. However, I found it both insightful in some ways. However, in other ways it surprised me that someone growing up in a racially homogeneous community would have had occasion to contemplate this.

BTW: During a break in the conversation another guy that had overheard the conversation remarked, "you know that he's full of shit don't you?" He then implied that he just wanted to have sex and that this was just his way of making a connection. Perhaps he's right, but if true, it seems like a really risky way of trying to get laid.