Racial Perspectives

Recently I was talking to a black friend of mine who was recounting a sexual encounter that he had had with a white guy. Now, for the record I know this friend to date whites, blacks and latinos at a minimum and is obviously comfortable around all. Perhaps he has a racial preference for dating, but I am completely unaware of it.

While in the midst of having sex the white guy says to my friend 'I love your black skin.' I think I can safely say that all black guys that date white guys have heard some version of this at least a few times. My friend asked me how would I feel if someone had asked me this. He said that it didn't cause him to bail out on the sex, but that he didn't like it at all.

So what does a black guy think when he hears this?

We hear that we have been reduced to a melanin fetish. Our partner doesn't see us as complete human beings, but rather the stereotypes connotated with by our skin. That there is nothing special about us that attracted this person other than being breathing and being black and that any person with a similar skin tone would have done just as well.

So what the hell is a white guy thinking when he says it?

Well, first the problem with the statement is that sometimes the white guy means exactly what the black guy thought he meant. But not always...

Sometimes what the white guy is saying is that although some people may discriminate against you because of your skin, it is not a barrier for him. That he finds beauty in the very thing that some say lessens you. Or... he may mean nothing deeper than when we say that someone looks good with a tan.

Honestly the statement has never bothered me probably because I am a hopeless optimist and always think the best. Nonetheless... a recommendation for white guys (probably the same for girls too), just don't say it. Not because there is inherently anything wrong with the words but because the chance if it being misconstrued is great.

Besides, if you do say it, you just might not get laid.

Nudity and Sex

Is nudity about sex? So many times I’ve been asked this question. The truth is… well, the answer is no… but maybe kinda…

We’ve come to associate nudity with sex because our culture has imbued within us the idea that the only time it is acceptable to be naked in the company of others is for sex. So true to our training, as soon as our pants come down sexual feelings arise. But this is not how it has to be nor is it how we as humans started our journey.

You see nudity is just about life and all that it comprises. Nudism is about doing all of the things that we would normally do, just without clothing. This can include reading, watching TV, household chores, sports and yes, sometimes even sex, but sex is not the point.

But why? Why would we want to do things naked when we’ve been doing them so well for our whole lives with clothes on? Here are some of my reasons:

• Being naked helps us to come to acceptance of your body and helps free us from body-shame.
• Being naked allows us to see the variety of other people’s bodies and to accept this variety as natural and normal.
• Being naked allows us to see and accept the natural occurrence of aging so that our fear of aging is diminished.
• Being naked forces us to lower the walls that we’ve built around us a little enabling us to have true and meaningful person-to-person sharing.
• People are just nicer and friendlier when they’re naked.
• People are more accepting when they’re naked.
• But most of all, being naked is fun.

On Racism and Discrmination

I recently heard someone spout racist remarks about people of another ethnicity. Their ire was neither directed at me nor blacks nor gays nor any other group to which I consider myself and yet still it bothered me. There are characteristics that I hold in very, very high esteem and among these are how do we treat our fellow human, do we respect others, and are we nice and caring. To me racism and discrimination directly indicates the exact opposite to an entire group of people based solely on the circumstances of their birth.

Truth be told, there are two kinds of racism out there. There's the overt racism in which the person understands that they have a preference for some over others. Then there's the more insidious racism of those that tell ourselves that we are not racists, but our actions still hurt or disadvantage others along arbitrary lines.

So how is it that some of are so sure that this insidious form of racism is so wide-spread whereas others are equally sure that it is not? How can these points of view be so far apart? The answer is hard to accept and lies deep within the nature of our species. We humans naturally define concentric circles of "us versus them" in which we almost always favor the inner circle when compared to an outer circle. We tend to lookout for our own interest before another; our own family before strangers; and our village before the world.

This very natural act that has been fruitful in binding communities together for millenia is also the root of racism and other forms discrimination. It defines "us" and skews our mind's perception of what is good so to benefit the "us". It is why we'll fight for our friends, family, village, tribe or country even if something deep inside of us knows that we are in the wrong. Want and example of this? Think of any movie in which the main character is obviously in the wrong and yet by the director showing us the movie from this character's perspective we are drawn into sympathizing and even routing for him to win. The director has succeeded in making the bad guy one of "us". It is part of our survival and self-preservation instinct.

What does this mean? That we're all racists to some extent. Understanding and accepting this is critical to overcoming the problems of racism and discrimination. It is only when we understand our natural tendencies to choose others like us over those that are different that we can free ourselves from its ill-effects.

So the next question is "why"? Why should we even fight these natural tendencies if they have served us so well throughout time? The answer is because our world has changed. No longer do we live in villages where everyone looks like us and acts like us. No longer are the actions of one village divorced from ramifications on the other side of the planet. Today, our village is multi-racial, multi-ethnic and diverse and therefore even this low-grade, insidious racism destroys the fabric of our community.

White Americans Are Losing Their Country

Black Americans have shed blood in every American war since the Revolution. This country, even the very Capitol building in which today's legislators now demand to see the birth certificate of the first black president, was built on the sweat and sinew of slaves. Before we were people in the eyes of the law, before we had the right to vote, before we had a black president, we were here, helping make this country as it is today. We are as American as it gets. And frankly, the time of people who think otherwise is passing. If that's the country Buchanan wants to hold onto, well, he's right, he is losing it.

I came across this blog entry today and just had to post a piece of it. Specifically it is meant to confront the Pat Buchanan's statement that white people are losing their country. However, it reaches me at a much deeper level. To me, it does not stoke defiance and rage but rather truth, pride and a certain strength that this truth displays about where we come from, where we are and where we are heading. Amen.

Struggle

Before I begin let me say that by trade I am a technologist. I program computers for a living. It's something I began doing long before I knew that anyone would ever pay me for it and I continue to love it until this day.

That said, I think that there is something seriously twisted with our society and what we call progress. Progress is almost always associated with clever inventions and productivity increases. It's kind of like those TV commercials that proclaim if only you had this type of soap or that kind of gadget that our lives would be finally complete. In a way we all know that it's a scam and yet in a broader sense we've all bought into this line of thinking.

I believe that we were made to struggle and that that struggle is an inseparable part of our existance. I believe that we without challenges of all types, we cease to grow and in a very real way we start to die. We must labor in spirit and mind and body. Yes... and to some extent we must even suffer inconvenience and discomfort, but rather than these being negative things they are a part of what makes life beautiful and full. Although I'd never walk knowlingly head first into a door, I believe that we have gone way too far in our pursuit to eradicate even the slightest bit of discomfort from our lives.

Somehow we've come to believe that the ultimate goal of progress is to... to... well to not do anything. We attempt to invent and then purchase these things to do everything for us. The sad reality is that we have become indentured to the maintenance and care of the very things that we thought would free us in the first place. But free us from what? Life?

Life is about living and loving and sharing of one's self. Life is to be experienced. Rather than becoming hermetically sealed perhaps we should be playing in the dirt just a little more.

So what is real progress? Real progress is using the vast creativity of the human spirit to alleviate true suffering such as hunger and disease. True progress is to prevent murder and rape and to provide an opportunities for happiness to all. And in these ways our progress as a species has been spotty at best.

But until we achieve true progress, I'll keep my day job of programming computers so that they can make us a cup of coffee without us having to lift a single finger.

We Are Beautiful

If ever there was a theme song made just for me, this is it. The truth is that I believe that I am unique and special and yes... beautiful. But the real miracle is that so is everyone else. We all are beautiful. Sure there are some that have covered their beauty with ugliness, but the majority of us retain the beauty of our creation. I love this song because it reminds us of who we are.

Thoughts on the Gates Jr Incident

I'm sure there are at least as many opinions on this as their are people, but I thought I'd share my two cents...

After following this for a while, it really doesn't seem like a clear, racial confrontation to me. To me it speaks more to police's demand that you show the man some respect. I understand why they want and need respect. The police's weapon of first choice to maintain peace and order is to display authority, which is much more preferable all around than resorting to tazers, guns, arrests and billy clubs. Interestingly enough, there was another recent and related event that occurred in my hometown just a couple of days ago.

It seems to me that both parties over-reacted a little and escalated what should have been a fairly benign event.

1. The 911 caller didn't even report Gates ethnicity at first and even when asked, was unsure.
2. Gates was probably a little indignant since he was in his own home. That said, it's actually a good thing to know that if someone is breaking down your door that the police are going to come and ask a few questions.
3. Once the Gates did identify himself, the police shouldn't have lured him outside with the intent of "teaching him a lesson".

I'll take Obama one step further, there was stupidly all around on this one.

That said, I thought this video from David Chappelle was funny. But beyond that, it speaks to a real truth... Whether or not this was a racial incident or not, it was exacerbated by the racial non-equality that persists until this day.




The issue is real. Switching to politics for a moment... when the Republicans demonize Obama as racist or characterize him using racial overtones, I don't think they have no idea how they are alienating blacks and probably other ethnic groups from their party. Instead of building bridges they're blowing them up. They're also doing the same thing with Sotomayor and the Latinos. To listen to them you would think that almost all minorities are inherently non-American and have alternative agendas. That they all put race above justice and what is right. And yet they can find no cases of prejudice exhibited by the hundreds and thousands of white politicians.

Black, Gay and Visiting Barcelona

So I thought that I'd take a minute to discuss the topic of the title of this post for anyone out there reading this that might be black and considering visiting Barcelona. I wholly recommend it, however I want to take a minute to give you my perspective. Am I an expert on the topic? No. My total of 6 weeks in this city, between my 2 visits here, hardly qualify me as an expert. But nonetheless, I am an expert of my own opinion.

First, there are very few black people here. I'm not sure what the census says, but I'm guessing somewhere around 5% give or take, which is far less than the 20% (even higher in cities) that we have in the states. Secondly, the black people that are here are almost exclusively African immigrants. For cultural reasons, almost none of the African immigrants are openly gay. So the thriving gay scene is almost completely composed of whites or latinos.

This doesn't bother me and never has as I feel equally comfortable in a room full or whites, asians, latinos or blacks. Furthermore, if you haven't figured it out by now, a guy that's willing to walk through downtown city streets isn't bowed by standing out a little. In fact, perhaps I relish it.

I will say this though, I have never had a problem meeting people in this city (caveat: speaking Spanish doesn't hurt in this area). I realize that I'm somewhat of a rarity in this city and surely that attracts people, but such things don't even slightly bother me.

I guess what I'm saying is if you can walk into a bar full of people of a different race and feel comfortable, and you stand a little scrutiny because you stand out like a sore thumb then perhaps you'll love Barcelona just as much as I do.

Things I Love

I frequently have conversations with people I meet about what moves them... what do they love to do most. The normal thing to do when we meet others is to ask "what do you do", referring to their occupation. I like to ask the same question, but in reference to fun.

So what do I love?

• I love interacting with people. This can be good friends, acquaintances or just meeting new people. Often I feel that I take a little something away from such meetings. I love the socializing, and most especially, the sharing of our essences.


• I love anything nude. Partly because it enhances my interactions with people, but also because I'm a little bit of an exhibitionist.


• I love dedicating myself to some task and becoming good at it. Examples of this include my life-long love of sports and pursuit to learn Spanish. I love struggling and putting everything into a tennis game and leaving knowing that I did the absolute best that I could on that day.


• I love learning new things and understanding things. This includes travel, culture, history and technology.


• I love seeing people smile.


• I love to contemplate the world I live in including topics such as sociology, science and politics as well as anything else that might capture my attention on a given day.


• I love beautiful, warm days with a bright shining sun.


• I love to see people in scant clothing on warm days. It's not necessarily sexual, but just the enjoyment of having layers that separate us removed.

Is it a Choice?

My Tivo captured an episode of the Tyra Banks show (its programmed to record anything having the word 'gay' in it) where she interviewed gay guys that hate being gay. The videos on YouTube are here. At the end of the show, Tyra asked:

"But the big question is, do you think that someone can ever really just stop
being gay?"

I thought that I'd answer that question here.

My answer might surprise you. The answer is both no and yes.

Speaking from the "gay" side, the problem is that we are assuming that everyone is just like us. However, the reality is that sexual orientation is not a binary, straight/gay issue. Consider the Kinsey Scale where Kinsey rated sexual orientation on a scale from 0 to 6. A '0' indicates that someone is exclusively heterosexual whereas a '6' indicate someone that is exclusively homosexual. The problem is that the gay community is predominantly composed of 5's and 6's. Why? Because we 5's and 6's are the most miserable trying to live a straight lifestyle and therefore more likely to come out. Of course for us 5's and 6's, it isn't even close to a choice and we wonder why this isn't as obvious to everyone else as it is to us. Why can't they understand that we can no more like women, than they can like men?

The reason that this argument can't work is that many of the people believing it is a choice do like men... or at least a little anyway. I think the people making this argument is most likely composed of the 2's, 3's and 4's. This means that they have probably had same-sex desires from time to time and perhaps even had an encounter or two. They really do choose. They can't choose who they're attracted to, but they can choose who they have sex with and enjoy that choice.

We'll ever convince them that our gayness is not a choice because their own life experiences, which they absolutely will never admit to, tells them otherwise. We will eventually win equality, but it won't by using this argument.

Leasons from Dubai

FYI: The photo has nothing to do with this posting nor with nudism. It's just a photo of myself from years past that always surprises me that I was ever that young.

I just read this article about about the rise and fall of Dubai. It reminded me of something that I have observed about our culture.

Have you noticed how we have morphed into a society that is driven by the appearance of happiness rather than happiness itself? I amazed at just how pervasive it is. I too am guilty of this but we must recognize the big lie if we are to move beyond it and pursue true happiness and fulfillment.

Here's an example of what I think is healthy living: (a) we seek happiness and fulfillment, (b) we determine those things in our life that would bring happiness and fulfillment, (c) we strive to do and/or achieve those things, and (d) our efforts perceived by others providing them images of our lives.

But the logic we taught to live by is perversely backwards. What really happens is: (a) we seek happiness, (d) we see images of others that "look" happy and (e) we try to replicate the things we see in those images.

The obvious problem is that we completely miss steps (b) and (c) which are the parts that enrich our lives. Furthermore, in this era of over-commercialization, every successful salesman knows how we make decisions and is barraging us with a constant stream of well endowed-, rich- and happy-looking people for us to emulate. Of course this inevitably means buying their product. It's the big lie and may represent the one of the biggest failings of western culture.

So what do I believe brings happiness? Well of course the details are different for everyone, but common aspects tend to be:

• We are happy when we are challenged; When not challenged at work, we can create constructive challenges personal lives; If we start feeling really comfortable chances are we're not doing something right


• We are happy when we engage in active activities


• We are happy when we learn and do new things


• We are happy when we have healthy and loving relationships with others such as family, friends, neighbors, partners and even strangers


• We are happy when we feel that we are doing something useful; This can be at work or volunteering or helping someone or anything else


• We are happy when we are pursuing what we love (see steps (b) and (c) above)

Don't not believe the lie.

That's What It's All About

We used to live in new, large colonial home in northern Virginia. Four years ago, we left our beautiful home to move into a little apartment within the city that was less than a third of the size we were used to. My question is, which was better?

Our culture has taught us that more is better. That bigger, more modern and more sophisticated is better. I believe these ideas are inherently fallacious.

What does life mean? What kind of life do we want to have lived? These are questions that we all must, or at least should, ask ourselves. Each persons answer will be different so I am not saying everyone should leave the burbs. However, it is obvious to me that our culture is telling us to live a fundamentally unfulfilling lifestyle. We focus on things over people and relationships. We begin to define fun by acquiring/owning/having something rather than by doing something.

What makes me happy:

• Really knowing and connecting with people,
• Going to bed happy that I am someone that I can respect (it really doesn't matter if anyone else does),
• That brief moment with someone new when you feel that you've really connected even if it was only for a few minutes,
• Playing tennis or biking or basketball,
• Learning new things,
• Doing something good that improves the world in some small way,
• Bringing a smile to someone's face,
• Learning languages,
• Traveling to far away places and spending enough time to really get to know the place and its people,
• Helping others, and
• Anything that includes the BF.

Nudism Update

It has been now approximately one year since I first stumbled upon my first nude event and nearly 10 months since my first became active in DC. Having just gotten home from Key West, I thought this would be a good time to reflect on how my views, understanding and general feelings have evolved over this past year.

As the BF and I sat on the couch and reflected on our vacation we also thought of our other getaways that we've had this year. Now I should say that we've always enjoyed our vacations even in prior years, but this year's vacations seemed to be especially enjoyable to us both.

The answer is really nothing new. It's the warmth of the people. You can stand in a regular bar and maybe the average person might talk to 2 or 3 or so people that they didn't already know. But if that same person was naked in the same bar surrounded with other naked men, he'd likely meet 20 to 30. Perhaps nudism just doesn't attract people that want to hide. Perhaps we just can't take ourselves quite too seriously as we stand there in our nakedness looking positively silly. If you can, try to recall having fun and playing when your an 8 year old kid. Remember the silliness and yet the absolute, true and simple fun that could come from almost anywhere at anytime. Somehow I believe that being naked kind of causes to regress into this state, but totally in a good way. It's just plain fun... well... and sexy, but I guess that's where the the 8 y/o analogy falls apart.

I find that most of us long for a sense of connectedness and a feeling of belonging. We want to be able to simply "be" while still being accepted and not judged. The irony of course is that the very things that we do to achieve these ends are those things that isolate us most. For example, to be accepted we try to be cool. Of course, this immediately alienates anyone that isn't as cool as we are. And even in the circles that have bought into our engineered coolness, there is the stress of maintaining appearances such that we hide behind our cool clothing/hair/lingo/etc. Nudism is not magic, but makes it easier to dispense with such things.

On occasion people have asked me if I am a nudist. I have trouble answering this not because I care what they think about it, but because the word seems to mean so much to so many. I mean, I don't have a political agenda. I don't necessarily think its practical for our society to completely dispense with clothing. And yet I do love being naked. I love being with others that are naked. Although I accept that we will forever live in a clothed society, I believe that our culture could benefit from a little more of the body-acceptance that nudism promotes. Oh yeah... and it's just simply fun.

Does that make me a nudist?

Go Fuck Yourself

If the title offends then, just go f... just joking.

I presume that I am like many people in that I have always had an internal, mental picture of myself that was not represented by my outward appearance. As I result, I spent a lot of time trying to present myself in a manner that my physical attributes could never attain. OK, confession time... race aside, I've always wanted to be a twinkie, but alas, that is not my destiny.

I say this because a few years ago I realized that I would never have to fuck myself. Believe it or not, this was a major revelation. It meant that I could simultaneously embrace myself just as I am without giving up my idea of beauty. BTW: I think many types are beautiful and not just twinks. see my previous post on the subject.

Sometimes people express that they are attracted to me physically, but I never ask why. Attraction is often mysterious and trying to modify one's behavior solely to become more attractive to another, specific person can sometimes be disingenuous and counter productive. Therefore, I've learned to instead embrace who I am (physically) and seek to further myself to be the best that I can be (physically). This is far better than trying to become someone else (physically).

Would I fuck myself if we met in a bar... probably not. But the great thing is that I can now accept that while still being able to feel somewhat sexy and not doubt that there are others out there for whom I will be exactly what they were looking for. I believe that this is (physical) self-acceptance and am grateful for having learned it.

Note: If you've noticed the word "physical" inserted repeatedly it is because I have never had such issues about my character, intelligence or who I was as a person. It was only the physical aspects that once gave me pause.

Questioning Nudity

By the title of this post, you may think that I'm asking if nudity is health and good or bad and damaging. Or you might wonder if I'm referring to what are the relative benefits of going letting it all hang out. Well you'd be wrong. Although I've discussed some of these topics previously in a series of posts named Why Nude, that is not my intent today.

Today I want ask a question that I've been discussing with the BF. As I've said many times before, I am often struck by the openness, niceness and acceptance that comes from nudists. But I wonder... is this because nudity disarms people making them nicer than they might be in other circumstances? Or is it because nudity inherently attracts nicer people who already have a deep desire to be in the presence of others in such a disarming and intimate setting? Would taking a really mean person and putting them into a voluntarily nude setting soften them up ever so slightly?

I really don't know, but I suspect it might be a little of both. I guess I ask this question because the scientist within does care. It also likely has macro-social impacts on our society as a whole. But aside from that, I'm not sure it matters to me personally much at all. I love nudism/naturism because it is so wonderfully open, accepting and intimate and am grateful that I've had the opportunity to experience it.

Nudity At Its Best

So this weekend was the first of two naked gatherings that I'm attending this summer. Essentially a local group coordinates these events amongst other activities throughout the year. These gatherings are held at vacation homes in the country of members of the group that are nice enough to allow 60 naked boys to take over.

This was the first one I've ever attended and frankly I would have to describe it as idyllic. I'll try to paint a picture, but I'm sure I won't do it justice. It was just so freeing to be surrounded by nature, hot weather, a cool pool and beautiful, friendly naked boys. I love how I'll sometimes start talking to someone that I didn't know beforehand and discover an interesting and beautiful person inside.

It's funny, but I remember when I was younger, perhaps in my late teens, thinking about how much we humans crave and need to be connected with each others and yet how we live our lives in relative isolation. I remember thinking that if we just didn't have so many hang ups, and if we were able to become more accepting of and openly loving toward each other, how we'd all be so much happier. I remember thinking how this would never happen because it was unfortunately contrary to our human nature. There was so much potential for happiness that is being wasted by our own insecurities and mistrust.

It's like when you go to a bar. So two random guys are sitting separately nursing their drinks when all they really want is to meet someone new and share a moment. But of course the barriers are too great. What if you get rejected? What if they think you just looking for sex? What if you are looking for sex and they're not? And because of this, we choose to continue to sit in isolation more often than not.

I'm not saying these naked evens are perfect, but they're closer to that open, warm, accepting environment that I never thought could exist outside of family and close friends. Sex aside, this is why I love nudism. I love that it makes us all better people. It provides one with a sense of belonging, or better yet... a liberation so complete that need to belong goes away and you're free to just.... be.

Police State

Ok, maybe the title is a little over-blown... or maybe not.

I just ran across this article that describes how the rules governing investigations for the FBI may be changed to make it presumably more efficient at combating terrorism. Now, I don't typically believe in conspiracy stories, and although I know America has done many heinous things, I still believe that we are one of the greatest countries on the earth. But, our greatness has come from our understanding that power corrupts and therefore, not even our beloved government should be trusted. This was the beauty behind the founding of this country and our constitution. It ensured that power was balanced and everyone was watched.

During the Bush years we have witnessed a death of a 1001, small cuts and a few large ones. These cuts take power from the people and grant them to the government and more specifically to the executive branch. This article is yet another one that I find deeply troubling.

You see, according to the fundamentals of our laws, I have a state- and god-given right to live happily and peaceably. Partly this is governed by my rights against unreasonable search and seizure. However, the FBI is considering to change the rules such that they can open investigations that potentially allows them into our lives no reason at all other than they don't like how we live our lives. But this is OK because after all... these are terrorists right? NO!!! These rule inevitably get used in unforeseen ways to meet the needs of every person in the chain of command. So without a clear definition of what is a terrorist (and an independent body to authorize the investigations), these rules will certainly be used to compile investigations on political rivals or anyone else.

I feel like I'm rambling so I'll just end by reminding everyone of how another, recent FBI tool that was granted to help fight terrorism has already been perverted according to their own internal investigation to trample on the rights of everyday citizens. The biggest legacy of George Bush will be how he destroyed the perception of what it means to be American.

Thougths on Acceptance

Today I read something that reminded me of just how vicious and needlessly unthoughtful we gay people can often be to each other. It's a wonder that while we engage in a life-long struggle for struggle within our families and society, we nevertheless can't help but alienate others around us. We criticize and exclude others because they're too effeminate, don't wear the right clothes, not the right race, too old, too fat or just not cute enough. All this made me ponder what does it really means to be accepting of others. When I point out to a close friend of mine that he made an unnecessarily mean remark about someone, he responds that he's sure that they'd do the same to him.

That may be so, but do we really want to emulate the most base behavior of our society? Do we really want to let the worst of the worst set our individual goal posts of who we want to be? The funniest thing about most of the criticisms that I hear is that they are almost always completely irrelevant to the person saying it. Why would I really care what someone else is wearing? Can we not celebrate and accept that person's different-ness without the acceptance marginalizing who we are?

For me the obvious answer is that it becomes very hard to accept others when we do not accept ourselves. When we don't accept ourselves for who we are, we fabricate arbitrary, alternative measures and then project these often superficial values upon others to see if (a) they are better or below us, or (b) they are worthy of our attention.

That's why I think that acceptance of others is rooted in first learning to accept ourselves. For when we truly achieve self-acceptance, we gain a freedom to enjoy others around us, irrespective of their social standing and differences, without our mere join presence lowering our own self-image.

Nudism is great at allowing us to really get see the human form. No, not just one so that we can mentally criticize it, but hundreds so that we can appreciate the natural variety of the human condition. Just taking off your clothes in the presence of others requires some degree of self-acceptance. And standing before everyone else, bare as the day we were born, makes us even more capable of accepting everyone else. Being nude removes our artificial security blankets and challenges us to either cower or get over it and accept it.

This Is Not Who We Are

The worst part of the soon-to-be Bush legacy has been the complete breakdown of the American ideals. This country began based upon utopic ideals of freedoms and the inalienable rights of man as granted by the creator. As a black man, I fully understand the flawed implementation that followed. Nonetheless, there is something said for the valiant attempt and our willingness of spirit to change over time. That is why it pains me so much to see our country so ostentatiously regress and betray who we are.

So the reason that I write this post is to celebrate the Supreme Court's decision that states that the detainees at Guantanamo Bay must be granted the right to challenge their detainment in federal courts. I totally believe that we should punish terrorists most severely, but don't believe that we must lose our soul in the process. The current process of secret military tribunals and the slanted limitations that they impose upon the defendants guarantees that the world views us as hypocrites. Government is not to be trusted... EVER! Not because I am a conspiracy theorist, but because I am a pragmatist that understands that power almost always breeds corruption. And there is no greater power than that of the United States government unchecked. I believe in our country, but one factor that has made our system work has been that we value our liberties and keep a vigilant eye on our government.

Now let's try the bastards fairly then lock them away forever!

Reacting Constructively

This post is one my life thoughts series. These are principles that I've developed over the years that I strongly believe in and that guide my day-to-day life.

Let me start with a scenario that happens to all of us on a near-daily basis. You're driving down the highway/street and some asshole cuts you off. What do you do? How do you feel? Many of us would begin to yell or curse. Some of us might gesture at the offender. And some of us might go further and tailgate the offender or attempt "show him" or "teach him a lesson."

The truth is that in a city of reasonable size, there are 10s of thousands of asshole drivers. Believe it or not, most of which are NOT asshole people, but that's besides the point. I try to always think about what I want out of life or a given situation before reacting. When driving, it is typically to arrive at my destination safely. Luckily, it is not my job to teach the world a lesson because for everyone you teach, there are ten others to take their place. But the kicker is that all of the reactions I described above actually hurt us in some way. Either it makes us angrier or raises our stress levels. Or perhaps it causes us to drive more dangerously, increasing the chance of being in an accident, which is directly contrary to our initial purpose. In the worst case, it puts us in jeopardy of being in an altercation with someone that really may be an asshole. In fact it is hard to find a single positive outcome from our adverse reactions to such a situation and yet, this is the course that most of us typically chose to follow.

Well I believe differently. I believe we must always remember the big picture, which is our safety, well-being and happiness. These are some of the universal items, but they can obviously be different for others.

Another good example might be how to leave a job that we hate. Do we leave with a bang that accomplishes nothing? Or do we leave on pleasant terms such that we can use them as a reference or come back in the future? Even if we know we'd never work there again, what is accomplished from burning the bridge on our way out?

DISCLAIMER: I haven't proofed this post because I'm thinking of course everything is right. But I know I'll cringe when I read it later. Oh well, I guess I never learn.