Race and Sexual Attraction

My BF and I went to Omega last night. I met an extremely good-looking white guy there who was visiting from Ft. Lauderdale. I quickly revealed that I had a BF. What made this conversation so interesting was the racial nature of the conversation. Note that I don't mean racial/bad, but rather am making a statement that we talked a lot about race in ways that are not very common for me.

As I said, he is white with blond hair and blue eyes and very cute. Honestly, if I was single, I definitely would've been interested and told him so. He quickly revealed that he loves black men. He also enjoyed Hispanics and Asians, or according to him race other than white. He used his finger to demonstrate the effect of the thought of sex with white men had on his dick. He confessed that he sometimes fantasizes what it would be like to black and having sex with a black guy.

Now, I'm not at all put off by such comments. Mostly because I think what sexually attracts us typically comes from weird and eccentric sources that would shock us all. Is it any more acceptable for someone to develop an attraction for jock-types or book-worms or even dirty feet. Than why would race-based attraction be inherently bad? Sure it could be born out of racial prejudice, but is not necessarily so. Therefore, I don't use attraction as a measure of one's prejudism since if they are prejudice, they'll likely show it in other ways rather than through attraction which is way too confusing as it is.

Anyway, back to the topic... He told me that he grew up in Indiana in an all white Chicago suburb. I was sure that like most people, he'd have no idea where his attraction to non-white originated, but he had some guesses and I was more than eager to hear them. What can I say, I'm a curious person. His first stated supposition was that his first relationship with a white guy ended very badly. Although possible, I found this improbable.

Later he offered another explanation. He went on to say how some white guys tend to feel a sense of superiority, privilege and birthright above others due to their race. He said that living in a culture that suggests that minorities are lesser prevents this from happening to minorities.

As shocking a statement as some may find this, I actually understood it completely. Not because I think it right, because I don't. Even if this is true of some whites, it would be prejudicial to assume it is likely to be true of any particular white person. Neither did I understand it because I share these feelings. However, I have sensed this same sentiment in others, although typically it is a cause for members of one minority race to only want to date within their own race since it gives that person a feeling of equal footing. I'm not saying that this is the motivation why all or even a majority of minorities only date within their race (see comments above about the inherent complexities of attraction).

What really shocked me about this comment is that (a) it is rarely expressed so directly and (b) I would never had expected it to be voiced by a white person who grew up in a predominately white community. Of course I am neither white nor grew up in a predominately white community myself, so perhaps I am not an expert in this area. However, I found it both insightful in some ways. However, in other ways it surprised me that someone growing up in a racially homogeneous community would have had occasion to contemplate this.

BTW: During a break in the conversation another guy that had overheard the conversation remarked, "you know that he's full of shit don't you?" He then implied that he just wanted to have sex and that this was just his way of making a connection. Perhaps he's right, but if true, it seems like a really risky way of trying to get laid.