Beauty

What is it about the male form that speaks to us so? A beautiful mountain scene may take my breath away and I can be enraptured by a starry night sky, but nothing speaks to me in the same way as does the hard, yet gentle curves of the male body. Undeniably, it stirs up such feelings of longing, desire and appreciation, and yet the scientist within me causes me to ask why.

Let's start with the obvious... Like many, I love the curve of a man's ass. I love to see how his chest drapes across his frame. I love to catch someone as the reach up and unknowingly expose that all so vulnerable spot between their waist and naval, revealing tufts of hair that hints at what might lie below. But also I like other parts that are probably a little less commonly appreciated. If you turn so away from me so that I am looking at you from behind, but slightly to the side, I love the curve that extends from the top of the butt up through the love handles and the small of a man's back. I love beauty of perfectly shaped calves and a muscular back. But why?

Honestly I have no idea. I have a little dog named Bubu (pronounced Booboo). As cute as he is, he has never invoked such profound feelings within me. Nor has babies, females or anything else for that matter. Is it pheromones? Is it some inane wiring that was placed within each of us long ago? I have no idea. But I am nonetheless grateful for even glimpses that provoke desires never to be fulfilled and remind us that we are truly alive.

Fleeting Moments

I love meeting and interacting socially with people. I've often been surprised by how sometimes the briefest and most insignificant meeting can become so... intimate. I'm not even talking about sex or even necessarily touching. But throughout my life there have been times when the rushing road of life have paused ever so briefly and given me a special moment that I've treasured ever since.

For example, I recall when I was just 12 years old in my grandmother's apartment building on Nagel avenue in Manhattan, where I met another boy my age. I remember how we stole a can of disgusting, store-bought frosting from his house and hid within the boiler room of the building while we ate it with our fingers. Later during my college years, I recall riding behind my best friend Matt as he sped us across Mississippi fields on his 4 wheeler/ATV. I remember wrapping my arms around his wait and burying my head into the back of his neck to protect myself from the wind.

Well this weekend I had one of these moments. Well... perhaps not quite that intense, but you get the idea. The BF and I went to the bi-monthly, naked, cocktail party where, by the way, I had a blast (figuratively that is). Anyway, after the party the bar opens to the public and several of the party attendees typically hang around and have a drinks together afterwards. Well, after standing around and talking to a few people, a guy came up behind me and hugged me. Now this is an absolutely gorgeous guy that I had seen several times before, but only recently had met at a previous party where he sucked me in broad daylight. He held me from behind for a long time, wrapping his arms around to my front as he softly caressed me, whispering into my ear the whole time. Now if you were to ask me what made this moment special, I'd be at a loss of words to explain how this moment differed from any one of a million, everyday moments. But somehow it was different and shall be something that I will remember for a long time to come.

Sad News

Ok, I'm not talking about the news per se, but rather about news reporting. The problem is that there is a huge lack of good news reporting in this country. Partly this is because news has become so ratings-driven and therefore, sensationalized. For example, the whole world must spend countless hours looking at Britney's latest trip to the hospital rather than the local and national news that really affects us and our collective future most.

I even hate the "a big truck over turned on I-whatever in east bumblefuck this morning spilling milk and eggs and stopping traffic for miles," kind of story. This is only news if you live in east bumblefuck. For the 99.9% of us that don't live there, the anecdotal story is irrelevant. A much more meaningful story would have been to show us how the nation's roadways are becoming more or less safe to trucks in general. Spending hours focused on a single story like this tends to (a) make people believe that there might be national problem when their isn't and (b) waste valuable airtime that could have been used covering stories that really do matter.

I also don't like the political "talking heads" shows. I'm sure you've seen the shows where the democratic and republican automatrons square off and argue how their respective parties can do no harm, yet the opposing party can do no good (except of course to capitulate). The problem is that the very format of these shows ensures that the viewers don't get any useful information at all. Spin and half-truths are elevated such that it becomes more about the verbal game and less about political discourse. As an aside, I guess this is one of the reasons that Tim Russert will be sorely missed.

Shows that irk me the most are:

• 24hr news channels channels that contain so little news such as CNN. Although I try to avoid it, sometimes I end up watching it anyway.


• Shows that purport to be news but are in actuality just video editorials such as most of Fox News as well as Lou Dobbs (ARGH!!!)


• "Talking heads" shows such as McLaughlin group and Hardball. Of course I watch these too though.

So why are these damned shows still on the air? Why aren't they replaced by shows that are meaningful? Since I watch some of them, perhaps I too am to blame. Sigh.

Postscript: I must say what drove me to write this post. It was Lou Dobbs. I just read a story about how he believes that Bush should be impeached over the recent salmonella outbreak in tomatoes. GIVE ME A BREAK! Now to be clear, I really hate Bush, but impeach a president over a food poisoning? That's ridiculous! This reminds me why I can't stand to watch his show. Why does he have a show anyway?

Thougths on Acceptance

Today I read something that reminded me of just how vicious and needlessly unthoughtful we gay people can often be to each other. It's a wonder that while we engage in a life-long struggle for struggle within our families and society, we nevertheless can't help but alienate others around us. We criticize and exclude others because they're too effeminate, don't wear the right clothes, not the right race, too old, too fat or just not cute enough. All this made me ponder what does it really means to be accepting of others. When I point out to a close friend of mine that he made an unnecessarily mean remark about someone, he responds that he's sure that they'd do the same to him.

That may be so, but do we really want to emulate the most base behavior of our society? Do we really want to let the worst of the worst set our individual goal posts of who we want to be? The funniest thing about most of the criticisms that I hear is that they are almost always completely irrelevant to the person saying it. Why would I really care what someone else is wearing? Can we not celebrate and accept that person's different-ness without the acceptance marginalizing who we are?

For me the obvious answer is that it becomes very hard to accept others when we do not accept ourselves. When we don't accept ourselves for who we are, we fabricate arbitrary, alternative measures and then project these often superficial values upon others to see if (a) they are better or below us, or (b) they are worthy of our attention.

That's why I think that acceptance of others is rooted in first learning to accept ourselves. For when we truly achieve self-acceptance, we gain a freedom to enjoy others around us, irrespective of their social standing and differences, without our mere join presence lowering our own self-image.

Nudism is great at allowing us to really get see the human form. No, not just one so that we can mentally criticize it, but hundreds so that we can appreciate the natural variety of the human condition. Just taking off your clothes in the presence of others requires some degree of self-acceptance. And standing before everyone else, bare as the day we were born, makes us even more capable of accepting everyone else. Being nude removes our artificial security blankets and challenges us to either cower or get over it and accept it.

Tennis Today

Ok, I could talk about my recent tennis matches but the real point of this post is to share some eye candy that I came across on someone else's blog. This was just way too good not to share, so I had to find any excuse to post it. Of course I look just like this after my tennis matches. (smile)

Show Your Pride

This week was the Capital Pride parade and festival in the nation's capital. The BF and I had an invitation to get out of the city to hang out nude at a friend's country home with a heated pool and hot tub. In the end we decided to stay in town and went to the parade. The parade was basically the same as every year, but that's fine with me because I always feel a sense of connectedness when I go. I know... I think that's corny has hell too, but hey, it's the truth.

After the parade, we walked down to 17th street and had a few drinks. It was such a zoo, but I loved it. Later that night, after returning home to don a pair of skivvies, we went to the underwear night at the Green Lantern before continuing on to the Eagle. I actually had quite a good time. There's something about Pride weekend that seems to bring out the best in people. Or maybe that's just because everyone starts drinking earlier than normal.

Battlestar Galactica

I have loved Battlestar Galactica since the original series when I was a little kid. So when the new series came out, I had to watch it. Honestly, it has exceeded my expectations and has only gotten better through the seasons.

Well, this week while I was watching the latest Tivo'd episode when I noticed something for the first time. Samuel Anders played by Michael Trucco is damn hot! Damn! How the hell I didn't see this before, I have no idea. Damn!

Growing Up Black and Gay

A fellow blogger recently wrote a post that I found extremely moving about his experience growing up black and gay as well as the abuse that he sustained. I think it was especially moving for me because I related to exactly half of what he had to say.

I too grew up black and gay (duh). Although my teenage hormones raged incessantly, my brain still had not yet come to terms with my being gay. How this is possible given that I fooled around with many of my friends from the ages of 12 to 16 I'll never know. As is true with most gay youths, I grew up feeling that something was seriously wrong with me. Because of this, I became outwardly very asexual. During my college years at a religious university, I would go through cycles of buying porno magazines followed by repentance, yet still half of my brain had no idea that I was gay.

My whole life I've been very into sports including basketball, baseball, football, cycling, tennis and just about every other type of sport. Outwardly, I was your typical boy, so no one really suspected that I was gay. One of the reasons that the post spoke to me was because I understand the parts that spoke to the hyper-masculinity expected within the black community. Now Although I can be equally turned on by both masculine and feminine guys (see related posting), my masculinity helped shield me from torments that could have been. Later, after coming to grips with my sexuality, I too had a period where I was not sure how to relate to black males in spite of being raised in a black neighborhood of New York.

What I could not relate though was the abuse that the posting described. I was never a part of the in-crowd, but frequently the most popular kids wanted me as their friend, so things were pretty easy for me. His post was like living through one my worst nightmares of what might have been. Hearing a story like this it makes me ache to comfort the little boy inside and tell him that there is a better world out there that will accept and love him. It hurts me that I cannot comfort him and wipe away the tears for his pain is all of ours. I am glad that the Internet has arrived though. At least it provides the gay youth of today some outlet to know that, wherever they may live, they are not alone.

This Is Not Who We Are

The worst part of the soon-to-be Bush legacy has been the complete breakdown of the American ideals. This country began based upon utopic ideals of freedoms and the inalienable rights of man as granted by the creator. As a black man, I fully understand the flawed implementation that followed. Nonetheless, there is something said for the valiant attempt and our willingness of spirit to change over time. That is why it pains me so much to see our country so ostentatiously regress and betray who we are.

So the reason that I write this post is to celebrate the Supreme Court's decision that states that the detainees at Guantanamo Bay must be granted the right to challenge their detainment in federal courts. I totally believe that we should punish terrorists most severely, but don't believe that we must lose our soul in the process. The current process of secret military tribunals and the slanted limitations that they impose upon the defendants guarantees that the world views us as hypocrites. Government is not to be trusted... EVER! Not because I am a conspiracy theorist, but because I am a pragmatist that understands that power almost always breeds corruption. And there is no greater power than that of the United States government unchecked. I believe in our country, but one factor that has made our system work has been that we value our liberties and keep a vigilant eye on our government.

Now let's try the bastards fairly then lock them away forever!

Folsom Street Fair

Well, after doing Bay-to-Breakers nude, I've now set my sites on the Folsom Street Fair coming up on September 28th in San Francisco. It seems all of the crazy things to do are in SF or Europe. Anyway, I never even knew anything about it until recently when random people looking at my pics on the Internet turned me on to it. Anyway sounds like something fun to do even with clothes on, but of course that's not my intention. I've even co-opted a friend of mine this time to participate in it with me. So far I've at least secured a room at the Best Western, which is supposedly right within the fair zone. The idea would be to just leave the hotel nude and never even be bothered with clothes at all. I'd love to hear from anyone that has been there before and has recommendations or advice to help me to make the most out of my time.

Pool Party Naked and Hot

In my journey learning about gay nudism in DC, I've come across yet another couple that have basically set their home up as a perpetual, nude hangout spot for gay men. As normal, I learned about them by word of mouth. Eventually I traded several emails with them and we talked on the phone a couple times. I remember at the end of our last conversation he asked if I had any questions. I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head, but had a ton the next day. Oh well. Anyway, he gave us a standing invitation to come over as long as we call ahead. Such invitations always make me feel a little uncomfortable as I've said in prior posts.

Anyway, there was a pool party put on by another group that happened to take place at the couple's house. I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to attend my first event with this group as well as make my first visit to the couple's house. So off we went.

The house is very nice and well-furnished. Obviously the owner's have a little money and loves their place to look great. They were warm and welcoming and remembered me from our prior communications. The pool was crystal clear and since the temperature hit 98 degrees, there were plenty of naked, beautiful guys lounging around both in and out of the water. My guess is that there must have been around 40 guys there at any given time with newcomers arriving constantly. Some nude parties I've been to have been strictly social, or have strict social hours after which play is allowed. However, at this event play was completely acceptable so it was not uncommon to see someone being sucked off in broad daylight around the pool in full view of everyone.

Well onto the highlights...

I saw an absolutely beautiful young couple that I had seen at other events there. At one point I was sitting at the picnic table with them and a couple of other guys. One of them started some light playing with 2 others, which included fondling and sucking. I was just watching when his cutie boyfriend unabashedly walked over, spun me around in my chair and buried his head in my crotch.

I had heard there was a sling in the basement and decided to check it out, but was diverted by a guy that pulled upstairs and into a bedroom where I fucked him hard in the guest bedroom.

When I finally made it to the basement, I kissed passionately with a guy that had been after me since I arrived. He wanted me to fuck him on the pool table, but I got distracted by two beautiful guys that started fucking nearby (see below).

I saw a very good looking guy that I've met at other events fuck the hell out of an absolutely beautiful guy on the floor of the basement. There was a crowd of about 10 nearby. Some stood watching while others were equally busy participating in play of their own. The sex was very hot and hard and the guy taking it doggie style screamed like a virgin. I'm guessing that the two were probably about 25 y/o.

As I was leaving the basement area, my BF and I were checking out the sling. Unlike most slings that I've seen, it was not obvious exactly how to use it. So I got in it to see and winded up being fucked by a guy that we both know. I erupted as he was still inside me. My BF later told me that the friend told him that he was surprised at our positions because I was in the sling and he'd assumed that I was the top in the relationship. My BF replied that we regularly switch things up. BTW: This was my first sling experience.

Anyway, I want to remark about something that even now continues to surprise me. I've often noticed how friendly the people that I've met at nude events have been. Well on certain occasions I've seen people and for some had the idea that they would be stuck up or have an attitude. What I hate about this is that I wonder how often have I avoided really nice people because of fear of rejection when knowing that person might have enriched my life in some way. I say this because at this event I saw three guys that I had previously seen at other places, but never engaged with them on any level because of this reason. And yet it continues to be true that time-after-time, people such as these are just the nicest people you'd want to meet. I'm even blown away sometimes when I later realize that guys that I thought had an attitude and wouldn't give me the time of day actually are attracted to me.

Tennis In an Oven

Well today the temperature was projected to be about 96 degrees with very high humidity, so of course I had to go play tennis during the hottest part of the day. I'm a little crazy that way. It was nice, because only the die hard players were out, so it was fairly easy to find a court. I played 2 sets of singles and won 6-1 and 6-1 as well as 3 sets of doubles which turned out 6-2, 6-4 and 4-6. I never let heat stop me, but am very careful to take plenty of fluids and be prepared to take a break or stop if I feel the slightest bit off.

World Naked Bike Ride Final Update

Well its official. We will not get permission to do it nude. I think the whole approach to the nude thing was flawed from the beginning. After dealing with governmental employes for many years, I can tell you that they always make decisions in the most risk-adverse way possible. The could never get fired or disciplined for saying no right?

A better way to handle this would've been to just go nude. Seek forgiveness rather than permission. Isn't that what a protest is all about? I would've done it. I haven't said this to anyone within the group because in all fairness they put a lot of work into it and the last thing I'd want to do is to disparage or discourage anyone. Besides, although I personally believe in this approach, it does require a lot of front-runners. I would've likely participated anyway since I purchased my banana peelz (see picture on right) specifically for this purpose, but I have another obligation pulling for my time that day anyway. I even ordered the brown one so that it would best blend with my natural skin color. Oh well.

Reacting Constructively

This post is one my life thoughts series. These are principles that I've developed over the years that I strongly believe in and that guide my day-to-day life.

Let me start with a scenario that happens to all of us on a near-daily basis. You're driving down the highway/street and some asshole cuts you off. What do you do? How do you feel? Many of us would begin to yell or curse. Some of us might gesture at the offender. And some of us might go further and tailgate the offender or attempt "show him" or "teach him a lesson."

The truth is that in a city of reasonable size, there are 10s of thousands of asshole drivers. Believe it or not, most of which are NOT asshole people, but that's besides the point. I try to always think about what I want out of life or a given situation before reacting. When driving, it is typically to arrive at my destination safely. Luckily, it is not my job to teach the world a lesson because for everyone you teach, there are ten others to take their place. But the kicker is that all of the reactions I described above actually hurt us in some way. Either it makes us angrier or raises our stress levels. Or perhaps it causes us to drive more dangerously, increasing the chance of being in an accident, which is directly contrary to our initial purpose. In the worst case, it puts us in jeopardy of being in an altercation with someone that really may be an asshole. In fact it is hard to find a single positive outcome from our adverse reactions to such a situation and yet, this is the course that most of us typically chose to follow.

Well I believe differently. I believe we must always remember the big picture, which is our safety, well-being and happiness. These are some of the universal items, but they can obviously be different for others.

Another good example might be how to leave a job that we hate. Do we leave with a bang that accomplishes nothing? Or do we leave on pleasant terms such that we can use them as a reference or come back in the future? Even if we know we'd never work there again, what is accomplished from burning the bridge on our way out?

DISCLAIMER: I haven't proofed this post because I'm thinking of course everything is right. But I know I'll cringe when I read it later. Oh well, I guess I never learn.

Weekend Impromptu Nude Pool Party

Well, after one of the very fun and nude parties that we had attended, I had sent a thank you note to the party's hosts. I often do this because I can't help but feel gratitude for anyone that would put themselves through the work, agony and inconvenience associated with hosting a party for over 100 nude and well-lubricated gay men. Especially when the parties often begin around 6pm and may last for up to 12 hours.

Anyway, the hosts responded via email saying, "Thank you for attending and helping to make it a huge success. Remember it does not have to be a party for you to come out for a visit. You have my cell, give us a call anytime." Just for reference, we'll call party's host Bob, We really only met Bob and his partner a couple of times and therefore did not really know them. I thought their invitation was cool, however, I can't imagine calling people I don't know and saying, "Hey I'm bored today, mind if we come over so that you entertain us?"

Well this weekend the BF and I had some free time and trouble deciding what to do. Whatever I recommended, he said no, but wouldn't offer any recommendations. I called up a friend to ask him about another party that was going on that day and he said that Bob is lounging by the party and that we should go there and join him. When I voiced my concern about showing up like that, he said he'd call me back and hung up.

Well, in the end the friend, the BF and I all headed out to Bob's house. I was surprised to see that there were about 10 to 15 guys there. Most were nude and some were enjoying the hot tub. We had drinks and talked. It was amazing that this is what they consider a small and unplanned gathering on a typical weekend day. The weather was perfect. We all ate grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and drank cocktails.

Well, I was having one of those days were my dick wouldn't do anything I wanted it to. Or better said, it wouldn't NOT do anything as I told it to. By this I mean that a stiff breeze would cause it to stiffen noticeably and they all took turns making sure that it stayed that way. I can't complain, because I loved the attention so I didn't exactly dissuade anyone.

Toward the end of the day, one guy commented that he hadn't disrobe because he didn't want to compete with me. Huh? He also said that a small argument that occurred in private between a couple there had been about me. Huh again? This one really surprised me because I hadn't really do anything with either of them. Oh well. The blond one was really cute though. Anyway, the afternoon ended in their dungeon (yes they have one complete with slings, glory holes, condoms and lube), then we went home.

Bay to Breakers Pictures

I already bay-to-breaker pictures on flickr, but since flickr considers this adult content, you must first have a flickr account in order to see them. I wanted to make it easier to get to and for a short while posted some of the pictures directly to this blog, but was a little afraid of angering the Blogger gods resulting in possibly having this blog marked as adult content. Sidebar: Isn't it terrible that nudity in itself is considered harmful? What is more natural than the human body? We do a diservice to our children by implicitly teaching them to be ashamed of their bodies.

Anyway, I've reached a compromise. Hurray! Unfortunately it means that I'll be posting some of my pictures onto xtube (a porn site) and linking to them here. Not sure how I feel about that, but we'll see. At least that way this blog remains relatively G-rated while still allowing for adults to view nude content without having to join anything. Anyway, here is one "sanitized" photo to give you an idea. It was great. The full photo set is here. If anyone has a better idea of how to do this, PLEASE let me know! It seems you can do whatever you want on the internet, but sometimes getting it all to work together is a challenge.