Go Fuck Yourself

If the title offends then, just go f... just joking.

I presume that I am like many people in that I have always had an internal, mental picture of myself that was not represented by my outward appearance. As I result, I spent a lot of time trying to present myself in a manner that my physical attributes could never attain. OK, confession time... race aside, I've always wanted to be a twinkie, but alas, that is not my destiny.

I say this because a few years ago I realized that I would never have to fuck myself. Believe it or not, this was a major revelation. It meant that I could simultaneously embrace myself just as I am without giving up my idea of beauty. BTW: I think many types are beautiful and not just twinks. see my previous post on the subject.

Sometimes people express that they are attracted to me physically, but I never ask why. Attraction is often mysterious and trying to modify one's behavior solely to become more attractive to another, specific person can sometimes be disingenuous and counter productive. Therefore, I've learned to instead embrace who I am (physically) and seek to further myself to be the best that I can be (physically). This is far better than trying to become someone else (physically).

Would I fuck myself if we met in a bar... probably not. But the great thing is that I can now accept that while still being able to feel somewhat sexy and not doubt that there are others out there for whom I will be exactly what they were looking for. I believe that this is (physical) self-acceptance and am grateful for having learned it.

Note: If you've noticed the word "physical" inserted repeatedly it is because I have never had such issues about my character, intelligence or who I was as a person. It was only the physical aspects that once gave me pause.