Going Negative

I hate complaining, but this has been on my mind these past few days. Those of you that have read my blog before have probably seen me celebrating life, thinking positive, contemplating the universe or just having non-destructive fun. But not today...

Some of you will say "duh" and think how late I am to realize the obvious. Perhaps that's because I am an optimist. Nevertheless, I am where I am.

I despise the Republicans! Not the people because that would be an over-generalization, but the party. Some thoughts...

1. On many occasions, they've attacked Obama on substantive issues. They've even exaggerated a little in making their point. I have no problem with this since this is how real arguments are made and disagreements are voiced.


2. On other occasions, they've played politics. They've opposed issues not because they've disagreed, but rather because they want to be contrary to whatever the Democrats and Obama are advocating. This bothers me only slightly more than the first. Inevitably people will pick sides in fights because there's strength in numbers. Politics is politics after all. It only becomes egregious when you sacrifice your true beliefs (i.e. soul) or knowingly and recklessly cause harm to others (see below) in the process. Otherwise, this just an unfortunate side-effect of a well-functioning process.


3. On yet other occasions, the deliberately and bold-facedly lie. The compromise ideals close to their hearts for political gain. The knowingly put politics ahead of the interest of those they are elected to serve and represent. This is horrible politics at its (near) worst! One recent examples of this include Republican governors rejecting extended unemployment benefits for their own, suffering people.

But this is not the worst! Nor is it the reason why I can't see my self voting for any Republican no matter how good he/she is for a long time to come...

The modern Republican party was built on opposition to the civil rights movement. The south used to be predominately Democrat up until 1960. During the civil rights movement, the Republicans stood firmly behind the American-apartheid system and have held the south ever since. See for yourself. Look at this map that I posted before and note how abruptly the south changes from before 1960 and after 1960. The change is startling.

But even that didn't bother me. As an optimist I look toward the future. Sure I remember the past for its valuable lessons, but not assign blame and the country has changed a lot since 1964. Not even the Republican party believes in the inequality they defended in the 1960s right?

But today as I look at the last category of attacks on Barak Obama I am appalled. They tell us (blacks) that we should aspire to be more. They tell us that society should provide "equal opportunity" without any special help and that we minorities should compete and take advantage of this. And yet, the minute the result is not to their liking, they attempt to use race to destroy us. Attacks on Obama are expected. A racial attack on Obama is an attack on me.

Even still this only bothers me a little. Why would I be bothered that there are racists in this country? I already knew that. After all, we may be on a path to a post-racial society but we certainly aren't there yet and I celebrate how far on the path we've actually come.

What really bothers me is the Republican leadership and other elected and party officials. They've thrown us under the bus as they've sat back and allowed, and in some cases condoned or stoked, these racial attacks and hatred. They see my life as political collateral damage. So what if Black-Americans are set back 20 years? So what if little Black have less hope as long as it helps them in the 2010 elections? Some things are worth standing up for. With their (in)actions, they've shown me what I and my life mean to them.

So I say Fuck Em. It'll be a very long time I'd consider voting Republican again even if Jesus himself was in the running.

BTW: I may have talked mostly about Obama, but the treatment of Sotomayor has been equally egregious and upsetting. Latinos are considered collateral damage as well. And it's not just Blacks and Latinos, but any ethnic group that they think will stir up their base and get them a few more votes.

I'll consider Republican arguments and candidates again when they clearly show that they value as a Black/American and when I hear them decry white-on-black racism and preferential treatments of whites at least as much as I hear them decry black-on-white racism and preferential treatment of blacks. Listening to them, you would think that Black America had enslaved Whites for 200 years followed by another 100 years of continued oppression.

OK, I'm done.

Thoughts on the Gates Jr Incident

I'm sure there are at least as many opinions on this as their are people, but I thought I'd share my two cents...

After following this for a while, it really doesn't seem like a clear, racial confrontation to me. To me it speaks more to police's demand that you show the man some respect. I understand why they want and need respect. The police's weapon of first choice to maintain peace and order is to display authority, which is much more preferable all around than resorting to tazers, guns, arrests and billy clubs. Interestingly enough, there was another recent and related event that occurred in my hometown just a couple of days ago.

It seems to me that both parties over-reacted a little and escalated what should have been a fairly benign event.

1. The 911 caller didn't even report Gates ethnicity at first and even when asked, was unsure.
2. Gates was probably a little indignant since he was in his own home. That said, it's actually a good thing to know that if someone is breaking down your door that the police are going to come and ask a few questions.
3. Once the Gates did identify himself, the police shouldn't have lured him outside with the intent of "teaching him a lesson".

I'll take Obama one step further, there was stupidly all around on this one.

That said, I thought this video from David Chappelle was funny. But beyond that, it speaks to a real truth... Whether or not this was a racial incident or not, it was exacerbated by the racial non-equality that persists until this day.




The issue is real. Switching to politics for a moment... when the Republicans demonize Obama as racist or characterize him using racial overtones, I don't think they have no idea how they are alienating blacks and probably other ethnic groups from their party. Instead of building bridges they're blowing them up. They're also doing the same thing with Sotomayor and the Latinos. To listen to them you would think that almost all minorities are inherently non-American and have alternative agendas. That they all put race above justice and what is right. And yet they can find no cases of prejudice exhibited by the hundreds and thousands of white politicians.

Home

I arrived back in Washington DC just a few days ago. This of course was my second, extended stay in Barcelona. I loved it so much the first time that I chose to spend a second extended stay there instead of using the time to visit places I had never been. All I can say is that I wouldn't have thought it possible to have enjoyed it more than the 1st time, but indeed I did.

My trip was all I wanted and more. Of course I love the language study and just the fact of being in a foreign place that I love. Of course I loved the beaches. But above all else, I loved getting to know the people there. I mean really talking to and getting know the people that live everyday of their lives there. The people opened their arms and accepted me in to their lives if only for a short while and I have no doubt that a few of them will remain friends for many years to come.

Having been gone from work for so long, I started to become anxious about the crises and catastrophes that would await me. I was pleasantly pleased to find that all was in order. Sure my inbox was overflowing and it'll take a couple of weeks just to unbury myself, but all was ok.

But most of all, I'm happy to be reunited the BF and my little doggie. These past few days at home have just felt so right and joyful that I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else for a long period of time. I love Barcelona and definitely plan to return within the next year or two. But my home is and always will be wherever the BF is.

Gay Pride

I've only ever seen these in Europe, but think that they're so logical. They were perfect for gay pride and I used them quite a few times since I was drinking beer.

Almost nude.

The dragon was hilarious mostly because it was obviously so dangerous. See the wires protruding from the font? Every once in a while, they'd put these huge firework things on them, which would then shoot sparks up to 30 feet in all directions and send the crowd running for their lives. At the end they exploded with M80 like power. I was shocked that no one got hurt.

The picture doesn't do this guy justice. He as just completely hot!

Updates

This past Sunday was Barcelona gay pride day. Normally BCN is known to have very small gay pride festival relative to the size of the city, but this time they went all out. This was the second major celebration that occurred during my trip which I was unaware of when I first planned it.

My first two visiting friends from Washington have now departed. The first left on Sunday. He left just in time because he was just starting to become immune to Red Bull and seriously needed to catch up on lost sleep. The second departed just this past Wednesday morning. Today the second pair of friends arrived and we're looking forward to a great time together.

What's been going on?

• An older Catalan guy named Jose Luis drove us down to Sitges where we had an absolutely fabulous dinner. We then headed over to a bar to watch a show with 60 year old men in drag, which was very entertaining.
• Went back to beach la Playa Mar Bella several times where I met a slightly crazy named Nicolas. We had several beers in bar by the beach, then ordered tapas at another restaurant. Later that evening we met up at Punto.
• Attended the pride parade and the festivities afterwards at Plaza Espanya. While there I ran into Juan, and older guy and friend of Jose Luis, Jonan, a very cute and affectionate guy I met my first week here and Gabriel a very sexy student in language school.
• Spent quite a bit of time talking to a black immigrant from Columbia. He's a very good looking guy that I had met a few times before in Punto. He talked about how much he loves the openness of the city. Of course I agreed.
• Spent time with Jose Luis and Carlos and met Carlos's brother.
  Met a guy from Malaga who now lives in BCN. His name is Francisco.

Pictures

I'm not as good about taking pictures as the BF, but I have managed to get a couple.

Outside the language school:
In the stairwell of my apartment building:

It says "Dangerous Bottom", but don't believe everything you read:

In the apartment:

Stayed nude as I left the beach area on a dare:

Week in Review

Picture of the small square/plaza just steps from my apartment.

The first friend from back home arrived yesterday about 6 hours after the scheduled time due to weather problems, mechanical issues and just about everything else. He was pretty wiped out. For our first day, we walked around the city quite a bit, ate at a great pizza place (don't say it, I know) that I like and had a drink. Later that evening we went to Punto and Dietrich for drinks where we met a sweet guy named Max. Later Max accompanied us to Arena, where I was supposed to meet up with Jesi, a guy I had met at the beach. We got home at 4am and slept in until 2pm. I'm thinking we'll probably go to the beach today.

Other people I've met in the past few days...

On Sunday I met up with a guy I had met named Jose Luis at Punto. I stayed there we chatted with his group of friends. He insisted on driving me home, probably at an attempt to preserve my purity, but I declined. After an internal debate, I decided to go to Open Mind. I entered and got naked. It wasn't naked night, but nudity is always part of the dress code there. It was a lot more fun that I would've expected for a Sunday night. I met a beautiful, thin Spanish boy as well as a visiting French/Irish/English guy named Hakim. Hakim is gorgeous and fairly kinky. We put on a show at Open Mind and left together. We walked around for a bit looking for some place to get a beer. We didn't find any place, but honestly our search was lack luster since we were really just talking. At the end, we went to his hotel, which was on Avenida de Roma and just a block and a half from my school. It was daylight by the time we went to sleep. When my alarm rang in the morning, I got up to turn it off and got right back into bed missing school. Later, around noon, we left together in search of food. Afterwards he came to my place for another round. He left around 4pm because I desperately had to work. He called later that evening. Since he was leaving the next day, he wanted me to stop by on way to school.

On Tuesday I met a guy named Xavi. Xavi is a tall, good-looking and well-gifted Catalan guy although he didn't grow up in the city. We met a Boyberry, which is a story in itself. Afterwards, we left together and walked the city talking. Then we ate and had a few drinks at a quite outdoor cafe in the gay district. Xavi is full of depressing life stories. I told him that he owes me some happy stories. At the end of the evening he walked me home and stayed the night.

On Wednesday I went to naked night at La Base, which was fun as usual. I had worn my leather football pants that I had bought at IML. As if being black in this city doesn't already make me stand out, you have to imagine me taking the metro and walking the street in these things. I got stopped in the streets twice this night by people trying to pick me up. The first one was a guy named Alberto who felt me up, pinched my nipples and gave me his card. The second approached me as I left La Base at 2 AM. He said he lived across the street and invited me up. I said I shouldn't, but did. His apartment was extremely luxurious and very large. He was an Irishman living and working in Barcelona for the past 10 years.

On Thursday I met Daro. He is an incredibly cute 23 year old medical student from Venezuela. We caught a cab back to my apartment and he stayed the night. When the alarm clock rang the next morning for school, I really wasn't feeling up to it so I missed classes for the second day this week.

Germany Update: So far I have been able to find cheap tickets to Franfurt, but nothing to Berlin for under 300 Euros.

Germany?

From the beginning of this trip I had envisioned making a detour at somepoint to another European city. My primary choices were Berlin and Amsterdam, although I hadn't made any concrete decisions. After I arrived, a couple that from Germany that we had met in San Fransisco contacted me and urged me to come visit them. At the time I didn't think I had any free time, but I just discovered that my return flight is a day later (Monday) than I had thought. It's all coming together as if it was meant to happen.

Postscript: So blogspot has been activing a little weird lately. First none of the popups were working so I couldn't post any pictures nor would spell check work. Well, I've resolved the popup issue and finally got to run a spell check... but it checks against a Spanish dictionary. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to keep using MS Word as my spell-checker.

Tastes of Barcelona

I thought I'd write a post about how Barcelona differs from my hometown and perhaps many other places in the US. So here's a random sampling of the good and bad:
People here put much more emphasis on social activities and less emphasis on work than we do. Here you are expected to go out or at least spend time with friends over dinner and/or drinks. This contributes to a more laid back atmosphere that seems much more common in Europe than in the States. It's always refreshing to remember that we work to live and not the other way around.

• In school today, the teacher referenced as an aside the typical, average work day as being from 9 to 1. This brought a smile to my face. Many businesses here work from 9 til 1, then re-open from 4 to about 7 or 8.


• The architecture is completely different. First there are the older parts of the city including El Barrio Gotico, El Borne, El Cuidad Viejo and El Raval. Then there are the more modern buildings of L'Eixample that somehow remind me of Paris. There are also other styles that can be seen in some places such as other residential areas, Barceloneta an Gracia.


• The culture is hugely open culturally, with a kind of beautifully organized social chaos. People generally do what they want. On the downside this leads to such things as public urination, but on the upside allows the sense of freedom and public authenticity that somehow seems lacking in most (not all) of US cities.


• Part of being open, there is public alcohol consumption everywhere. There are even roving people selling cans of Estrella (the local beer). People drink on the streets, in the plazas, even on the beach. Even as walking home at 5 in the morning you can still see the vendors.


• The cars are smaller, the garbage trucks are tiny even delivery trucks are smaller than our mid-sized vans. Apartments are generally smaller as are washing machines and almost everything else. They seem to put a higher value on effective us whereas we tend to live by the "more/bigger is better" motto.


• Similarly, it amazes me how energy conscious they are here. For example, lights in the lobbies of most apartment buildings turn off automatically. There are buttons throughout that will turn them on for a few minutes after which time the halls will again go mostly dark. Even many power outlets have switches designed to stop the small flow of energy that escapes even when a device is turned off. Lights are fastidiously turned off at every opportunity. Curiously however, I'm amazed at how much water they use. Their shower heads, faucets and toilets seemingly use much more water than we consume in the US. Go figure.


• Owning car or even having a license to drive one is not nearly as common and public transportation is great. Also, there are bicycles and motor scooters everywhere. There's even a "zip car" -like service called "bicing" where any member can just pick up a bike almost anywhere in the city, ride it to their destination and leave it there. I've seen similar racks in DC and think they're going to try the system there too, but wonder if our mindset is quite the same. Perhaps it's a case of "if you build it, they will come".


• The nightlife is incredibly thriving. It's common for people to arrive at a club at 2:30am or even later and party until 6am. For those wishing to continue, there are after-hour places that keep the partying going through the morning.


• The atmosphere is filled with a feeling of open sexiness that I believe comes from the liberalness and openness. There are bars where you can go nude (at least gay bars anyway). Half of the gay bars and clubs have back rooms (cuartos oscuro), where play is not on allowed, but expected. A few bars are nothing but one big back room.


• People generally live a little more simply. For example, I have yet to see a Bluetooth headset on anyone. They don't even know what a TiVo is. The technologies that most people have include a modern cell phone, iPod and a computer. Many people even forgo the computer and visit Internet Cafes, which are everywhere in this city.


• Generally, people tend to dress a little more fashionably, although there are a few places in the US that I think would compare.

Barcelona Day 7

Everything has been quite perfect so far. Classes are going well. I'm learning a lot, but probably not studying (or working for that matter) as much as I should. There are just so many distractions here. Not that I'm complaining mind you.

Yesterday was another intentionally easy day for me. I had an invitation to go the beach, but didn't go. In the end all I did was do walked around the city a bit. I toured the Borne area a bit more and made my first trip over to las Ramblas. Later I spent a couple of hours with a very cute guy I had met. At around 11:30pm, I went to La Base, which is the first public place I ever took my clothes off. La Base is how I originally got into nudism in the first place. Nudists/naturists wouldn't really consider this a nudist club/bar since it is definitely sexually oriented. I left La Base sometime around 3am.

Today I was little tired for morning classes, but greatly appreciated that the school pushed the morning classes back one hour to 9 AM since I had last been there. After school, I worked for a good 5 hours, which was much needed and afterwards took a nap since I had planned to go out later that night. Late in the evening I went to Open Mind because they were having their weekly naked night. I finally left around 4AM. On the way home, a 24 y/o -looking guy (very cute), was standing in the street with his friends outside of Atame (a gay night club). We talked for about a 1/2 hour and he was very sweet and affectionate. I didn't take him home though.

CEO Compensation

Sorry back to policitics/world issues. I've stated previously that I completely understand the outcry over CEO compensation, but am dead set against any kind of Government limits. Here is a perspective that kind of gets to the why:

I picked the median company on the most recent Fortune 500 (i.e., number 250), Smith International. It has about $11 billion in sales and $1.6 billion in operating income. A 1% swing in $1.6 billion is $16 million. As context the median Fortune 500 CEO recently had total annual comp of about $6 million. So as a shareholder of Smith International going into the market to hire a CEO, the question I would ask myself if presented with the choice of paying $6 million per year or, say, doubling this to $12 million per year, is not "Will the CEO I get for $12 million fundamentally transform my business?" or whatever; instead, I'd rationally ask myself, "Can the $12 million
dollar CEO drive about 0.6% more operating profit than the person I would hire at $6 million?".

At the heart of is a profit-based calculation, and business exist to make profit. Intervention by the Government can be counter-productive so any intervention should be focused on (and we really need this) ensuring that there is fairness and transparency and not on setting some arbitrary salary cap. Using the current banking crisis as an example, if we set a cap for bankers receiving federal bailout money, no qualified person would ever take the job when they could make 10X that amount being CEO of a company in some other industry.

Black, Gay and Visiting Barcelona

So I thought that I'd take a minute to discuss the topic of the title of this post for anyone out there reading this that might be black and considering visiting Barcelona. I wholly recommend it, however I want to take a minute to give you my perspective. Am I an expert on the topic? No. My total of 6 weeks in this city, between my 2 visits here, hardly qualify me as an expert. But nonetheless, I am an expert of my own opinion.

First, there are very few black people here. I'm not sure what the census says, but I'm guessing somewhere around 5% give or take, which is far less than the 20% (even higher in cities) that we have in the states. Secondly, the black people that are here are almost exclusively African immigrants. For cultural reasons, almost none of the African immigrants are openly gay. So the thriving gay scene is almost completely composed of whites or latinos.

This doesn't bother me and never has as I feel equally comfortable in a room full or whites, asians, latinos or blacks. Furthermore, if you haven't figured it out by now, a guy that's willing to walk through downtown city streets isn't bowed by standing out a little. In fact, perhaps I relish it.

I will say this though, I have never had a problem meeting people in this city (caveat: speaking Spanish doesn't hurt in this area). I realize that I'm somewhat of a rarity in this city and surely that attracts people, but such things don't even slightly bother me.

I guess what I'm saying is if you can walk into a bar full of people of a different race and feel comfortable, and you stand a little scrutiny because you stand out like a sore thumb then perhaps you'll love Barcelona just as much as I do.

Barcelona Day 4

Today was the first day of classes. To my surprise one of the instructors recognized me from when I attended classes a year ago. By the end of the day I had seen 3 of my prior teachers. The new building is definitely a lot nicer that the old one and, thank god, the air conditioning works much better.

After classes I returned to my room to work for a while. I should've worked more, but I quit after just about an hour and a half. I guess I made up for it though since I did work a few hours on Sunday. Afterwards, I headed back to the beach where I laid out naked and met a French immigrant named Nico. We talked for about two hours.

Amongst other things, he asked me who I think was responsible for 9/11. He said he thinks it was the CIA or perhaps the FBI. What I found curious is that I can recall exactly 4 conversations with people who firmly believed this and 3 of them were in BCN. One of them had been born and raised in Brooklyn, whom I met on my last trip. I guess my point isn't so much about what is or isn't true, but rather the differences in perspective based upon where one lives. Towards the end of our conversation the wind changed and it got a little chilly. As I left, he told me, "you're very powerful when naked". I'm not sure exactly what he meant, but thought it was a weird/interesting comment.

I still haven't heard anything from the World Naked Bike Ride people, however I did find a place from which I could rent a bike. I also determined that in past years the ride started at La Placa Universitat. I still have no idea if this is the official meet up place or of the time.

Barcelona Day 2

Today I took it easy. I woke up around 2pm and was out by 3. I had nowhere in particular to go. That's part of the charm of these vacations. I figured I'd explore the area of Borne near my apartment. Afterwards I figured I'd either walk over to Las Ramblas (not my favorite part of town) or down to the beach. I stumbled upon a festival for Borne and watched the live music for a while, then decided for the beach.

I walked to the beach. First I just walked up beach on the sand. Toward the end of the beach was the nude section as I had been told. I disputed either buying a towel and laying out in the sun or leaving and returning another day. Well I'm the "do" kinda guy so I returned to the entrance and bought a towel, which I needed anyway since I hadn't brought one with me from DC. As I walked back towards the nude section a guy was staring at me. I had noticed that he had stared at me coming and going when I had first walked the beach. We exchanged "hi"s and I set my towel next to his. His name was Jesse (Jesi) and he's an immigrant from Columbia. He didn't know any English so we conversed in Spanish. I immediately dropped my shorts and got naked before I even remembered that I had not yet reached the nude part of the beach. Oh well. We stayed there and talked for about an hour and a half before returning. We shared a bus and decided we'd go to the beach again on Monday.

Once again I was completely exhausted by 9pm so I took a nap. Perhaps I haven't quite yet fully adjusted to the time difference. I awoke at 11:30pm. I tried to decide to go either to Dietrich, where I had gone numerous times on my prior trip or to New Chaps, where I've never been. Since it was late by the time I left, I decided on Dietrich and afterwards to a club called Martins (most dance clubs don't even open until 3am). I had a couple of drinks on Dietrich before walking the 1/4 block to Punto. At Punto I met Luis. We talked (in Spanish) until closing time, which was 3am. He was supposed to meet up with friends at the club Metro, which I had gone to various times before and really liked. In the end we didn't go to Martins nor Metro but forged our own agenda. He wants to meet me again on Wednesday for happy hour at Punto.

I still haven't heard anything regarding the details for the World Naked Bike Ride that's supposed to be taking place here next week. I guess I'll keep trying.

Barcelona Day 1

So I've been in Barcelona for all of a day and already it has tired me out... but totally in a good way.

I arrived an hour early and went to the agency that provided my apartment. Things went smoothly as we signed all of the paperwork. So far my experience with the company (barcelona-home.com) has been good and I'd recommend them. I'm paying just under $40/day for an efficiency, which includes my own kitchen and bathroom. Oh yeah, did I say that it includes Internet?

After getting helped to the apartment by the cutest guy you've ever seen (from Arizona), I took to settling in. Over the next few hours I unpacked, bought a SIM card for my phone and some groceries, and walked around town a bit.

I decided this day I would visit two new sleazy bars that didn't exist last time I was here. So at 6PM I went to Berlin Dark. They have a weekday naked/underwear thing from 5 to 9. Finding it was nearly impossible. Although I wore a jockstrap, I decided not to wear it and went nude inside. There I met several people including an Italian, Canadian and a native of Catalan. The Italian (Enrique, go figure) is here on business and wants to meet up when he's back in town in a few weeks. We talked in Spanish. The Canadian was so glad to talk to me. He had been here for 2 weeks and was a little desperate for English-speaking company. This kind of made me realize that my experiences of BCN would probably be better if I wasn't conversant in Spanish. I also met several others in less "formal" ways.

Afterwards I was tired as hell and went back to the apartment to grab a nap. By this time it was already 9pm. I guess I hadn't gotten enough sleep on the red-eye flight after all. I awoke at 11:30 and seriously considered just going back to sleep. So I took the metro to Open Minds. This place was both bigger and more crowded than the prior and got busier as the night wore on. Again I brought a jockstrap which went unused. I did wear my new boots that I acquired at IML though. The place spanned two floors and included not-quite-so-private cabins, slings, lots of common spaces and a bar. I left at 4am totally and completely exhausted. I was actually spent at 3am, but decided to "look around" one more time. I'm sure you can guess how that went.

Since the metro was closed and was still an hour away from re-opening, I decided to walk home even though it is a good distance. Just past the Plaza Cataluña I passed two guys looking like they're getting on a scooter, which are so common there. One of them stares at me as I approached. My first thoughts were that they were stares of aggression. But after exchanging the 4th glance I figured there was something else happening. I passed them. The one that stared at me drove the bike a half block, parked and walked in my direction. We talked for a while. As the saying goes, I had already given at the office, but I couldn't resist when he asked if we could go either my place or his. In spite of his very slender but muscular frame, he definitely had a much larger than average member. We took turns and finished exhausted. By the time we were done, dawn had already broken. It was 6:30 by the time I arrived home.

Barcelona Begins

I am writing this from JFK airport en route to Barcelona. Although I've been looking forward to this trip for quite a while, I don't think I quite had the level of anticipation that I thought I would have. Mainly I think was caused by the fact that I had so many other things going on that I think I just never had enough time to let it hit me. Well this past week that all changed and I have REALLY, REALLY been looking forward this.

I've spent the last week trying to attend to all the details. I've made sure everything was covered at work, double checked the apartment reservation, paid the remaining balance for the language school, and researched new places that have opened there since I was there a year and a half ago. I've found a couple of places that look absolutely, positively sleazy, which I definitely will have to check out.

I'm slightly concerned about the size of the apartment (pics). I know its fine for me, but I have 4 people visiting while I'll be there albeit not all at the same time. I told each of them that it was a small efficiency of only 25 meters square with only 1 bed, so hopefully they understand. I re-read the website and the apartment does come with an optional cot, so I'll try to get one if I can.

I planned this trip to take partly alone and partly with the BF (he doesn't need the language training). Once I had the apartment I told some friends of mine that I'll be there, already have the apartment and that they are welcome to come if they'd like to. The fact that they took me up on the offer is kind of a case study on how people really do want to travel if they have the opportunity. There's also a 5th friend from Orlando that we met while in Key West last year who's coming to visit too, however he won't be staying with me because there are already people with me when he'll be there.

I was recently looking at some pictures on flickr of people going nude in Barcelona, and I don't mean just at the beaches. It is actually legal there to be nude in ANY public space. I am so determined to do this. I'd love to just walk down the street in the middle of the day buck naked. I'm not sure how I'll do it though. If I do it while I'm there alone, getting pictures to remember it would be difficult. I could wait until some of my friends arrive an co opt them to do it. Or maybe all of the above.

Saturday morning I woke up and realized that I'll be there during the traditional World Naked Bike Ride. Last year I planned to participate in Washington DC until it turned out to be the World (not so) Naked Bike Ride. But given Barcelona's nudity laws, they tend to have a nice turnout and yes... it's naked! So I've found their website and sent them an email requesting information on how to participate. I already know the date, but not the time and meet up place. I'll also need to find out where I can rent a bike so there are still a few details to take care of before next Saturday.

IML

I haven't posted in a while and wanted to give an update.

The BF and I attended our first IML over Memorial Day Weekend. Just a week before we left, a Latino friend found tickets and decided to come along. Since he was on a different flight, he got there and left earlier than we did. I loved the event. Since the event takes over the whole hotel, everyone is free to (un)dress and walk around freely. I definitely enjoyed going through my leather outfits as well as combining ridiculously exposing outfits with leather accessories. I was mostly a good boy this weekend. But I guess that's a very relative term. The Latino friend and I visited Steamworks on Sunday night, which was packed. All I'll say is that place was crazy packed and even crazier fun.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Ran across this on YouTube. It's a remake of the song but they changed to lyrics to say exactly what was happening in the video. Kinda funny and well done.

Energy Commerical for American Values

From a TV commercial:

"I don't think you can live the American lifestyle without energy"

"We have all of this energy here in the US we have wind, we have solar
obviously, we have oil"

"I think we need to do maybe some off-shore drilling."

"I think we have the can-do, we have the capability, we have the
technology..."

"The solutions are here, we just need to find them here, at home."

The irony is that the commercial was created by BP as in British Petroleum.

Naked Weekend

Had a great weekend. Twelve of us winded up going to the friend's country house. There were 4 couples and 4 single guys. We spent time enjoying each other's company. The property has a great log cabin. It's not one of those rustic cabins having all of the amenities of a typical house. There's also a screened in gazebo with both a bed and a couch. I'd love to sleep out there one day, but the BF isn't very adventurous when it comes to sleeping arrangements so I haven't done it yet. There's also the heated, salt-water pool, which was set a very comfortable 86 degrees. The land is surrounded on three sides by wetlands and they've cleared a path so that you can take a nude hike and take it all in.

There are two traditions that we almost always wind up doing, and Saturday night was no different. In addition to the obvious drinking that takes place, the hosts always serve rounds of tequila or schnapps shots. I can remember at least 3 shots Saturday night. The second is what we call New Orleans shots. The key to the NO shots is to bring along a few people with lots of foreskin. I think you get the idea. We also went through 2 large cans of whip cream too.

The beauty of such outings is the closeness and camaraderie. There's absolutely nothing to do except enjoy each other. I imagine this might be torturous for some, but if you're a people-person and enjoy the people your with, it's absolutely great. The only downside was that we couldn't take any pictures. We brought the camera... and the battery... but forgot the memory chip. Oh well.

Fez

I never watch this show, but does anyone else think that Fez on That 70s Show is sexy?

Update

Last weekend with my cousin and his partner was fun. He's a full 8 years older than me, so we weren't really in the same age group growing up. I was much closer to his younger brother. This being the first time that we hanged out together in gay settings, we both found ourselves reverting back to early childhood memories of each other. He still remembers me as the 3 year old that hates getting his hair and fingernails cut and is so quiet. I guess we were both in somewhat of a time warp.

I haven't played tennis in almost two weeks now as a result of trying to play when I should have been recuperating. After getting an excruciating cortisone injection in my wrist last week I think I just might be ready to hit a few tentative balls this week.

Looking forward to the weekend away naked this weekend with friends. I think it'll be good for us. I've been feeling kinda blah these past 2 days, which very well might be related to being less physically active than normal. Anyway, the idea of being nude in a beautiful pool, on lots of land, with really good friends and absolutely nothing to worry about sounds just about perfect right now.

I received an email yesterday tell me that this weekends will be the Bay-2-Breakers race in San Fran. I'm a little disappointed that I'll not be able to go. Oh well, there's always next year.

Another friend has decided to visit me while I'm in Barcelona bringing the total to 4 plus possibly one more. The BF is decisionally-challenged and still hasn't decided even though I fly in just four weeks. Now I'm researching my communications alternatives so that I can still communicate with the BF as well as with others for work by phone. I was thinking to register for a Vonage SoftPhone, but hadn't realized that the Vonage free calls to Europe was to landlines only. So now my backup plan is get a free Skype account for the BF and a paid account for myself. Then I'll forward my local cell phone to my paid Skype account. It should allow me to (a) talk to the BF for free, (b) receive calls and voice mails placed to my normal cell phone number, (c) place calls to people back in the states.

Star Trek

Just have to say (no spoilers) that Star Trek was fantastic. I grew up on the original series as a kid although I never could get into the subsequent shows too much. Somehow they made it interesting and action-packed without being dumb while still managing to incorporate just enough of the essence of the original. As a result, we have what I think is the best movie I've seen in a while that is fresh and possibly paves the way to another 40 years of entertainment.

Solidarity Unto Oblivion

The Republicans continue to circle the wagons and disown those that even suggest that perhaps things should be done differently. And the person at the center of it all says that Obama's objective is job loss, unemployment and reparations (audio). By reparations, he's referring to compensating blacks for their/our centuries of slavery followed non-equals status.

Whether reparations are warranted is not even the point. The point is that the leader of the party (I only call him this because no one in the party seems to want to even nominally refute this point) directly and purposely states that Obama's goal is the destruction of the country through unemployment and then to take whats left from the whites and give it to the blacks through reparations.

There is a dedicated few that buy this hook, line and sinker. Luckily, the public at large does not. And with a leader such as this and this kind of talk, it'll be a while before the Republicans become credible.

Pre-Weekend Update

One of my older cousins is visiting this weekend along with his long-term partner. It should be pretty good seeing them as we haven't seen each other in the past 3 or 4 years. I think (but not sure) that he's pretty conservative, so I'll be skipping some of the activities this weekend. A friend just moved into a new place with his partner and is hosting naked cocktails early Friday evening and another friend is doing something similar on Saturday. I think we'll skip those.

The weather has sucked for a week now, but in selfish kind of way, that's been good. My wrist has been hurting so I wouldn't have been able to play any tennis so the weather has made me feel like I haven't missed anything. I just came back from the orthopedist and he gave me a shot of cortisone, so hopefully that allows me to get back on the court by early next week.

Here's a story... I work at a very small company and we had hired a new guy about a month ago. Since we share office space with a larger company so our offices are not really that close to each other. Combine that with the fact that he works in a different group and I work from home some days and you can see why we hadn't spent much time together.

So we run into each other in the kitchen one day while I was getting the obligatory morning coffee. The conversation went something like this:

Coworker: So you had a good weekend?

Me: (Thinking for a moment and remembering that I had gone to party that weekend. I didn't post anything about it, but had written posts about other times I had at the same time here and here and others) Actually I did. I went to a party that was quite
enjoyable.

Coworker: I love parties, but prefer house parties to parties in bars.

Me: Totally agree. This was a house party at a place where the owners
love hosting and specifically organized their basement for hosting
parties.

Coworker: Where was the party?

Me: Maryland.

Coworker: (neighborhood name redacted)?

Me: Err.... Uh.... No. (ok, I lied)

Coworker: Because I went to a party in that neighborhood once. There were
so many guys I couldn't believe it!

Me: Okay, gotta go.

He obviously knew. I guess I just wasn't prepared, but I did tell him that it was indeed the place he was thinking of. Anyway, I thought it was kind of funny.

Wilderness

I hate routing for Republicans, but believe that human nature spells certain doom for a one-party system. So we need them to do their job and offer a real alternative so that we can vote against them.

I just ran across this article from Time that speaks to the multitude of woes of the Republican party all of which could be talked about at length. However, my thoughts today are focused the statements made by Joe the Plumber.

According to the article, Joe says that he is so outraged by GOP spending that he is quiting the party. I think this would have been perfectly reasonable... ONE OR TWO YEARS AGO WHEN THEY WERE IN POWER! Why has he suddenly gotten religion on this topic?

Well, I'll interpret this in the context of his other off-the-wall statements and appearances such as his "news" reporting from Israel and not allowing gays around his children.

Is there any question why the GOP is dying when Joe and Sarah become their chief spokespeople?

Just Burgers

Okay, I realize that this is just a photo-op, but it's still pretty cool. Obama and Biden go out for a burger, wait in line and pay with their own money. I know, I know that the cash was staged, but still!

Choose to Be Different

So often we are punished for being different. Punished for being gay, too short, too fat or in some circles perhaps for being too dark. We all live in self-created cocoons to protect ourselves from the world outside. Unfortunately these same protections also isolate us and make us lonelier, and worse.

Why can't we say hi to a stranger? Well, he might think we want something... or maybe that we want sex. Maybe he'll reject us and not say hi back.


But we can choose to be different. We can say "hi" to someone for no other reason than wanting to see them smile.

Summer Approacheth

Yes, the days are getting longer and weather, milder. So what's going on?

• I've been trying to play more tennis, but am now plagued by a hurt wrist, which has been bothering me for the past few days (none of the obvious jokes!) I'm seeing the orthopedist on Thursday because I want to get back on the court as soon as possible.


• I have all of my trips to Barcelona made and am really looking forward to it. I've invited several friends to come visit for a few days. Two are coming for about 5 days in early July and another just booked airfare for a week in mid-June. He'll even be joining me in immersion classes!


• Went to a pool party this weekend. Yes, one of those so don't ask! I have to say that it is so nice to be able to "socialize" (hmm) around a pool with others. God I love summer!


• A group of friends are planning to do a naked get together in the woods in about 2 weeks or so. So far I think they'll be 10 to 15 of us. The larger groups will come later in the summer. The smaller groups are so much fun and relaxing just being relaxed and naked in nature with great people. I'm really looking forward to it.


• I've made my reservations for GNI. I had such a good time last year that I just had to do it again. Unfortunately, we'll only be going for the 2nd half-week since I'm already taking too much vacation as it is. Already 4 friends have booked, so it should definitely be a good time.


• My gay cousin and his partner will be visiting us this weekend. He's pretty conservative (at least I think so), so I'll be on my bestest behavior.

The Republican Dilemma

Perusing the Internet today, I came across this very well thought out article assessing the problems facing the Republican party over the loss of younger voters. I often read some of the Republican and conservative sights just to see what their take on current events is. Of course I have to ignore the ridiculous rants to get to anything substantive but it's worth it. I figure if I can put up with some of the crazy left rants, I can put up with the crazy right ones too.

I've been troubled in recent months when discussing the issue of young voters with some fellow Republicans. There seems to be a sort of conventional wisdom that we should expect young voters to trend liberal and Democratic, that the behavior of young voters in 2008 is not serious cause for concern. This stems from a belief in partisanship as a life-cycle factor, that voters start liberal and Democratic and wind up older, conservative, and Republican. But the data paint a very different picture.

Take the graph of partisan identification for instance; over the last few decades, young voters have not identified with the Democratic party in substantially higher numbers than voters overall. Even conservatism had its moment among young voters in the 1980's. Yet with the end of the Reagan presidency, young voters shifted toward liberalism. This ideological shift did not play out into actual partisan identification in a meaningful way until 2006 and 2008.

Even the comments were interesting. Here's one of many that I liked...

It's not hard to figure out
It's easy to see the GOP's problems.

Party mantra:

1. We don't like gays
2. We don't like immigrants
3. We think Obama is a tyrannical fascist communist dictator
4. We don't like Muslims WAIT, who DO we like besides southern white straight
people who love guns and hate gays, immigrants, and muslims(e.g. Obama)?

We also don't care about the plight of those college students who finish
college under tremendous debt after graduating to enter a terrible jobs
market.

Pretty simple.

Weekend

This weekend some friends that we met in Ft. Lauderdale last year came to visit. We saw them several times last year during extended weekend trips there. I think I've referred to him in some previous post as my "cock twin". Last weekend was their turn to visit us.

Friday, we went to the recently re-opened Ziegfield/Secrets, which is the only DC club that hosts naked dancers since all of the previous clubs were displaced by the new baseball stadium. Saturday we spent the day on the mall doing touristy kinds of things. We visited the new Capitol Visitor's Center and took a tour of the Capitol building. Next, we headed over to the Library of Congress. Later that night they accompanied us to a friends birthday party which was pretty cool. They disappeared for a while on a "fun" excursion.

Sunday we had brunch at Jacks, then cocktails at JR's. I couldn't believe how crowded it gets there on a Sunday. Later, they talked me into going to the Crew Club with them. I had never been before and have to say it is not nearly as sleazy as I would have expected.

Overall it was fun weekend in every way.

Funny

Guy-liner

Last night I watched a tivo'd recording Adam Lambert singing Born to be Wild on American Idol. For the record, I really try to avoid Idol, but the BF likes it.

His performance was really good. He looked natural and is obviously a natural entertainer. Now, the eyeliner was really obvious. Inspite of my previously, highly conservative nature, I've always liked it when others really put themselves out there and dared to be different. Perhaps that was my way of living more freely through them. Of course now I don't have such reservations.

Well, I came across this article today which was linked to from Google News. I'm guessing all of the comments are by teenage girls, but still it got me thinking.

So what if he wears eyeliner for a performance? So what if he wears it everyday? So what if he wears it and he's gay? Or straight? And who made up the rule that only girls wear eyeliner and when did this rule become cultural gospel?

I think all of this is silliness and is yet another example of how we invent completely artificial and arbitrary rules solely for the purpose of marginalizing and ridiculing any who transgress.

Well I think he looks cute and I don't subscribe to this. And even if he wasn't cute... I still think he should do as he wishes and it wouldn't bother me one bit. Hell... he could've done the show naked for all I care!

Fear and Marriage

The latest attempt by this video by the National Organization for Marriage is to try to win by fear. This is the same approach that has been used time and time again whenever a group of people belonging to the majority wants to marginalize those in the minority. It is no different than the antics used to defend slavery and segregation as well as to oppose equal rights. It is no different than the arguments posed to justify apartheid. And it is no different to justifications given for the slaughter of 6 million Jews.

This is their newest attempt since they are obviously losing the intellectual argument.

I know that a log of black gays dislike the equating of the civil rights abuses with the current struggle within the gay community and to an extent I agree with them. I agree because by definition it is not the same. If it was the same this would be 1960 or maybe 1860. Nonetheless, there are some similarities. Comparisons are not made because 2 things are exactly the same, but because there may be lessons to be learned from their similarities. Given that the same segment of the demographic that previously thought it OK that I couldn't sleep in certain hotels, eat in certain restaurants, attend certain schools or... yes... marry certain people are espousing the same arguments to once again relegate me to the sub-human, under-class, then yes I think the comparison is worthwhile.

I am heartened though, because I know that barring a cataclysmic event human progress has set us on a course that demands that equality be achieved.

Fascists

Funny segment from the Daily Show. I loved this quote:

Now you're in the minority, it's supposed to taste like a shit-taco

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Dubai

I just came across this article and could hardly believe it. It sounds believable and to some extent, matches little bits and pieces I've heard from other places. Nonetheless, it is truly disturbing and my heart goes out to the people caught in this predicament.

Obama

He's seems to be having a good week. There was a lot of skepticism regarding what he could accomplish at the G-20 and subsequent world tour. Then, just days before the trip, the signs from many of the worlds players made even these small goals seem distant.

And yet somehow Obama has managed to pull through in a big way.Did he get everything he wanted... No. And yet he accomplished more than anyone thought he would or could.

Below is AP footage of the Obamas being received in France by Sarkozy and his model/bride. From the crowd's reception to the statesmanship, it all touches me somehow.

Kings

Last night we watched our first episode of the TV drama series called Kings on NBC. It was the 3rd episode, but I liked it enough to watch the 1st episode online. There's a scene that's stereotypical and yet still remains poignant. I guess it connects to all of us gay boys who have been "found out" at some point when we start to wonder what becomes of us now?

The outing scene starts at the 45 minute mark.

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BSG

I have yet to write anything about the last episode of BSG, which I watched a week late since I was on vacation when it aired.

First... can you believe that Cmdr Adama left the fleet in the hands of a homosexual. Woohoo to BSG! Oh yeah... it's just a TV show... and not even since Hoshi was only gay in a webisode. Still it seemed kinda special anyway.

Second, I didn't foresee the end, which is kinda refreshing. But that said, I should have been able to guess it. I mean, the colonies returning to present day Earth would've been interesting if it hadn't already been done before. Returning to a future earth would've been stupid because the viewers wouldn't be able to relate. And provided that they weren't go to kill everyone off, there really was only left one possible outcome left. Somehow I missed it though.

Anyway, I enjoyed the series even more than I had enjoyed the original when I was a kid. The only regret is that it's over. Fortunately, we still have the cylon-view movie coming up and of course, there's Caprica.

Insurance and Healthcare

This is a boring topic I know, but my mind does tend to wander...

The philosophy of insurance is the concept of shared risk. It is the idea that there is a low probability of some catastrophic event that would bankrupt its victim. However, by pooling our premiums 100 of us are able to contribute such that when one of faces that dire circumstance, we can all get through it.

I recall being in a poor South America country a few years back when it hit me what the differences intrinsic differences between the first and third worlds are. I'm talking about wealth, but what makes wealth and order possible. One of these were insurance. In America we're fairly protected from everything other than death. Even then we'll likely have some help.

So it pains me when I read an article like this one, detailing how insurance companies are routinely using public information of disenfranchise a huge portion of our population. I actually don't blame the insurance companies because they are only doing what companies do. It's the system that's broken and needs to be seriously fixed.

If I follow the article to it's logical conclusion, the next time I'm in a doctor's office and he says that I really need to take metformin to stay healthy, I just might refuse to because I'm worried that I might be un-insurable 5 years from now.

THIS IS WHY WE NEED HEALTHCARE REFORMS! THE INDUSTRY CANNOT SOLVE THESE THINGS ON ITS OWN!!!

Things I Love

I frequently have conversations with people I meet about what moves them... what do they love to do most. The normal thing to do when we meet others is to ask "what do you do", referring to their occupation. I like to ask the same question, but in reference to fun.

So what do I love?

• I love interacting with people. This can be good friends, acquaintances or just meeting new people. Often I feel that I take a little something away from such meetings. I love the socializing, and most especially, the sharing of our essences.


• I love anything nude. Partly because it enhances my interactions with people, but also because I'm a little bit of an exhibitionist.


• I love dedicating myself to some task and becoming good at it. Examples of this include my life-long love of sports and pursuit to learn Spanish. I love struggling and putting everything into a tennis game and leaving knowing that I did the absolute best that I could on that day.


• I love learning new things and understanding things. This includes travel, culture, history and technology.


• I love seeing people smile.


• I love to contemplate the world I live in including topics such as sociology, science and politics as well as anything else that might capture my attention on a given day.


• I love beautiful, warm days with a bright shining sun.


• I love to see people in scant clothing on warm days. It's not necessarily sexual, but just the enjoyment of having layers that separate us removed.

Tennis Porn

Fernando Verdasco is a hottie tennis player and has combined two of my favorite things by posing naked for a charity event.

Kinda makes me reminisce of naked tennis at the GNI Gathering. Too bad I didn't get any pictures since I played 6 out of 7 days. Oh well. I guess it just gives me something to look forward to this year. I was thinking of going for the second half-week, but now am contemplating the full week. We'll see...

Maspalomas

Pictures from Gran Canaria...

There was a pretty large nude beach. The first portion was mostly straight and the second half was very gay. But then again, everything on the island seemed pretty gay to me.


Miles of dunes. The dunes are created with sands that blow from the Sahara so it was my first time being in the kind of desert that we see depicted on TV.

London and Gran Canaria Summary

I just arrived from my first major trip of the year. The BF and 6 other friends and I took an 11-day trip to London and the Canary Islands. It was absolutely fantastic. It's pretty easy for me to enjoy wherever I am, and being with the BF can make almost anyplace fun, but I have to say that the group of guys that we went with are just all great people, terrific friends and made our time so much better.

I plan to post more details later, but let me synopsize...

We spent the first 4 days in London where we went to XXL, Admiral Duncans, the Hoist and several bars whose names escape me. Four of us also went with a Londoner to a gay, nudist get together that was pretty cool and fun.

The last 7 days were spent in Gran Canaria. It's one of the few places I 've been in my life where we encountered very, very few Americans albeit there were plenty of Europeans and even several Canadians. There were also very, very few black people, which was a little surprising to me since it is geographically more a part of Africa than anywhere else.

We had 80 degree weather every day. We spent the days on the beach Las Playas Maspalomas. Things are pretty cheap there so we could've taken a cab to the beach for about 4 euros, but why would I when half of the walk was about a mile through dunes and nature where I could walk stark naked. Even the constant breeze helped keep us perfectly cooled during the walks. We had celebrated a cocktail party with the group back at the Villas Blancas resort where we were staying. We'd all get together and typically have a couple of other people that we had either met. Around 9 or so, we'd head down to the Yumbo center. This was like a huge courtyard-oriented, outdoor mall where there was there was plenty of shopping, restaurants and plenty of pretty good night entertainment. I normally don't like touristy things too much, but I actually really enjoyed the Yumbo center. After a week of being there, I still hadn't had enough of it.

The last thing I'll say in this first posting is that I was really struck by just how the gay the whole area was. I mean, yes it's a popular European gay destination, but it seemed to go far beyond that. For example, they were celebrating Carnival while we were there. All the locals participate in this and all of the young guys from ages 15 to 30 all dress up in the most pretty and feminine attire. There were butterflies, bumblebees and lots of boys in drag. Of course many of them were gay, but many of them were surprisingly straight too. It was pretty amazing to see a culture were being campy was so mainstream and to contemplate the obvious impact this has on acceptance in such a place. It's sad to think that I couldn't see this happening anywhere in the US anytime soon.

We took plenty of pictures which I tend to post soon. I haven't seen them yet since the airport lost one of our luggage bags and we've only just received it today (4 days later). Hopefully, nothing went missing such as our camera during this time.

Is it a Choice?

My Tivo captured an episode of the Tyra Banks show (its programmed to record anything having the word 'gay' in it) where she interviewed gay guys that hate being gay. The videos on YouTube are here. At the end of the show, Tyra asked:

"But the big question is, do you think that someone can ever really just stop
being gay?"

I thought that I'd answer that question here.

My answer might surprise you. The answer is both no and yes.

Speaking from the "gay" side, the problem is that we are assuming that everyone is just like us. However, the reality is that sexual orientation is not a binary, straight/gay issue. Consider the Kinsey Scale where Kinsey rated sexual orientation on a scale from 0 to 6. A '0' indicates that someone is exclusively heterosexual whereas a '6' indicate someone that is exclusively homosexual. The problem is that the gay community is predominantly composed of 5's and 6's. Why? Because we 5's and 6's are the most miserable trying to live a straight lifestyle and therefore more likely to come out. Of course for us 5's and 6's, it isn't even close to a choice and we wonder why this isn't as obvious to everyone else as it is to us. Why can't they understand that we can no more like women, than they can like men?

The reason that this argument can't work is that many of the people believing it is a choice do like men... or at least a little anyway. I think the people making this argument is most likely composed of the 2's, 3's and 4's. This means that they have probably had same-sex desires from time to time and perhaps even had an encounter or two. They really do choose. They can't choose who they're attracted to, but they can choose who they have sex with and enjoy that choice.

We'll ever convince them that our gayness is not a choice because their own life experiences, which they absolutely will never admit to, tells them otherwise. We will eventually win equality, but it won't by using this argument.

Leasons from Dubai

FYI: The photo has nothing to do with this posting nor with nudism. It's just a photo of myself from years past that always surprises me that I was ever that young.

I just read this article about about the rise and fall of Dubai. It reminded me of something that I have observed about our culture.

Have you noticed how we have morphed into a society that is driven by the appearance of happiness rather than happiness itself? I amazed at just how pervasive it is. I too am guilty of this but we must recognize the big lie if we are to move beyond it and pursue true happiness and fulfillment.

Here's an example of what I think is healthy living: (a) we seek happiness and fulfillment, (b) we determine those things in our life that would bring happiness and fulfillment, (c) we strive to do and/or achieve those things, and (d) our efforts perceived by others providing them images of our lives.

But the logic we taught to live by is perversely backwards. What really happens is: (a) we seek happiness, (d) we see images of others that "look" happy and (e) we try to replicate the things we see in those images.

The obvious problem is that we completely miss steps (b) and (c) which are the parts that enrich our lives. Furthermore, in this era of over-commercialization, every successful salesman knows how we make decisions and is barraging us with a constant stream of well endowed-, rich- and happy-looking people for us to emulate. Of course this inevitably means buying their product. It's the big lie and may represent the one of the biggest failings of western culture.

So what do I believe brings happiness? Well of course the details are different for everyone, but common aspects tend to be:

• We are happy when we are challenged; When not challenged at work, we can create constructive challenges personal lives; If we start feeling really comfortable chances are we're not doing something right


• We are happy when we engage in active activities


• We are happy when we learn and do new things


• We are happy when we have healthy and loving relationships with others such as family, friends, neighbors, partners and even strangers


• We are happy when we feel that we are doing something useful; This can be at work or volunteering or helping someone or anything else


• We are happy when we are pursuing what we love (see steps (b) and (c) above)

Don't not believe the lie.